


Begin the Simulation

by doyouhearthunder



Category: Deltarune (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Chara is fresh off destroying a timeline and is repressing a lot of emotional damage, Deltarune is a simulation, Gen, Nonbinary Chara (Undertale), Post-Undertale Genocide Route, Scientist W. D. Gaster, because I have a lot of feelings about my tragic Knife Child, tbh this is mostly just an excuse to give Chara a measure of redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-19
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-08-26 04:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doyouhearthunder/pseuds/doyouhearthunder
Summary: Floating in the void of the world they just destroyed, the thing that used to be Chara Dreemurr is contacted by the thing that used to be W. D. Gaster. Gaster enlists Chara's aid in his ultimate experiment: Creating and manipulating an entire simulated world. For Chara, it's a chance to envision a world where the trauma and tragedy that shaped them never occurred. A world where they finally have the safety of control. For Gaster...well, his motives are shrouded in darkness.But control is a fragile thing. Can a time-displaced scientist and a dead child truly hope to play God without consequence? Whatever happens, this experiment should beveryveryinteresting.





	1. All the Pointless Fragments

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by this Deltarune animatic on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1Pk9KDWK3g
> 
> And also this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESx_hy1n7HA
> 
> One of those cases where you think to yourself, "I wonder what the story behind that scenario is," and then realize that you'll have to write that story yourself if you want to find out. So here we are...
> 
> Plus, I have a lot of thoughts about Deltarune's apparent commentary on choice and free will, and about poor, damaged Chara's parasitic relationships with their hosts. Perhaps, in this new world, they will find whatever it is they're looking for. Or perhaps they'll find something else entirely...

My name is Chara, and I am the destroyer of worlds.

I take a moment to savor my victory, feeling the rush of sweet satisfaction crawling across the skin of the body I stole. An entire reality erased by my hand. And good riddance. All that world ever brought me was trauma and tragedy. But now the only thing that remains of it is a void, formless and howling.

So why do I feel like I’m being watched?

I glance over my shoulder. Of course, there’s no one there. Nothing but void. I’m the only thing left. But even as I tell myself this, I can sense that it isn’t true. Someone, or something, is here with me.

My fist clenches around the knife. The weapon rarely leaves my hand. Such a small, unassuming thing, but it has proven effective so far. A faithful companion.

“Show yourself!” My voice is swallowed up by the nothingness.

For a moment, nothing happens, and then it appears out of nowhere. No, not nowhere – _everywhere_. Like the void is congealing, creating a shape from the blackness. A vast, dark mass, topped by a white head like a skull, cracked and smiling. Hands appear from out of the thing’s formless body; floating, white hands with round holes in the palms.

I don’t scare easy. ‘Course not; I just slaughtered my way through a whole world of monsters. A couple of them managed to slow me down for a while. None of them scared me. But this thing is different. Something about it seems horribly familiar, but I’m certain I’ve never seen it before. I don’t know where it came from. It shouldn’t be here, when everything else is gone. It shouldn’t _be_ at all.

I don’t wait. I don’t think. I do what I always do when I feel threatened. I lash out. I charge, I slash, I go straight for the killing blow.

But before I can touch it, the creature vanishes. Here one second and gone the next. At first, I think I’ve chased it off, and I begin to relax. But then I realize I can still feel its gaze on me.

I turn around, and there it is, floating behind me.

“DO NOT BE ALARMED, CHILD.”

“What? Who are you?"

“I WILL TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE WHERE WE CAN CONVERSE MORE EASILY.”

“What the h-” I start to shout, and then I stop, because suddenly I’m somewhere else. The void has been replaced by…a room. It’s a big room, dark and cold, but it’s definitely a real place; there’s a floor beneath my feet again, and I can see towers of what look like computer banks along the walls, covered in blinking lights. On one end of the room, a vast half-skull hangs above a pool of water, supported by huge cables.

“AH, THAT’S BETTER, ISN’T IT?”

The voice is calm but deep, reverberating off the walls. I whirl around, startled. That thing is standing there behind me again, but it looks less like a thing now and more like a man, with a more humanoid form: tall, skeletal, wearing a black lab coat over a white turtleneck sweater. One of the eyes of his cracked skull is half shut, like a crescent moon, matching the crescent of his smile as he looks down at me.

 I don’t know what this man is, but I refuse to let him think I’m intimidated by him. “Who the hell are you?”

“MY NAME IS DOCTOR W. D. GASTER. WE HAVE MET BEFORE, YOU KNOW.”

Uh, no, we haven’t. I think I would remember this guy. “If that was true, you’d be dead.”

This makes Gaster laugh. It’s a horrible sound, halfway between a burble and the crack of a bone snapping. “YOU WERE MUCH DIFFERENT THEN, AND SO WAS I. BUT YOU DO NOT REMEMBER ME. FEW DO.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about, so I change the subject. “What is this place?”

“MY LABORATORY. OR AT LEAST, WHAT I’VE MANAGED TO RECREATE OF IT. LIKE MYSELF, IT EXISTS OUTSIDE THE PARAMATERS OF THE REALITY YOU JUST DESTROYED. PLEASE DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING.”

I raise the knife and twist my expression into a snarl. “I’m going to do a lot more than just touch things if you don’t explain exactly who you are and what’s going on.”

Gaster regards me apathetically. He doesn’t look scared of me at all. It’s disconcerting and I don’t like it.

“IT IS DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN. PERHAPS A DEMONSTRATION IS IN ORDER.” When I just look at him blankly, he spreads his arms wide and says, “DO YOUR WORST.”

This doesn’t normally happen. I hesitate. “You…want me to attack you?”

Dr. Gaster’s crescent smile widens. “THAT IS YOUR NATURE, IS IT NOT? TO MEET OTHER BEINGS WITH VIOLENCE? OR HAS YOUR DETERMINATION WANED?”

Crazy, suicidal bastard. Well, if that’s how he wants to play it. Who am I to deny a death wish?

“I’ll show you determination,” I growl, and then I lunge, knife in hand. He makes no effort to evade the blow. I feel the blade cut through him.

**999999**

His form begins to waver, the lines of his existence blurring, and then he dissolves into dust.

He never stops smiling.

I look at the pile of dust where Gaster stood. I can’t understand why he didn’t defend himself. I can’t understand why he was smiling. I just can’t understand…

“DID YOU FIND THAT EXPERIENCE SATISFYING?”

I whirl around. Dr. Gaster is standing behind me, his hands clasped behind his back, still smiling.

“What?! I just _killed you_.”

“IT IS NOT SO EASY TO GET RID OF SOMEONE WHO EXISTS IN ALL POINTS IN TIME SIMULTANEOUSLY,” Gaster says with a shrug. “DEATH IS FOR MORE LINEAR BEINGS THAN I.”

Great. The one person I can’t kill, and it’s this creepy dude. “That’s not _fair_. People are supposed to stay dead when I kill them. That’s the whole _point_.”

“IS IT? I WONDER IF YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE POINT OF YOUR ACTIONS IS.”

I narrow my eyes at him, feeling a little flame of resentment growing stronger inside me. “Don’t try to psychoanalyze me, Doctor. Just tell me what this is all about.”

Gaster turns away from me, hands still clasped behind his back. “I WAS MORTAL ONCE,” he intones. “BEFORE THE ACCIDENT THAT DISPERSED ME ACROSS TIME AND SPACE, I WAS THE ROYAL SCIENTIST TO KING ASGORE. YOUR FATHER.”

My father…or he used to be, back when I was still just a human. He’s dead now, like all the others.

“Then you know who I am?”

Gaster turns his head back to look at me. Is it my imagination, or is there a glint in his eye, like a soft blue flame? “I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU. YOU AND THE CHILD WHOSE WILL YOU HAVE SUPERSEDED. SUCH DETERMINATION…NEVER HAVE I FELT ANYTHING LIKE IT. IT CALLED TO ME.”

“Oh yeah? Then why haven’t you approached me until now?”

“YOU WERE PART OF A PHYSICAL REALITY WITH WHICH I WAS UNABLE TO INTERACT. BUT YOU MADE SHORT WORK OF THAT, DIDN’T YOU? IN THE VOID, I WAS ABLE TO REACH OUT.”

I still don’t get where this is going, and as interesting as it all is, my patience is wearing thin. “But why? What do you want with me?”

“I MUST ADMIT THAT I FIND YOU FASCINATING, CHARA DREEMURR. WE HAVE MUCH IN COMMON, YOU AND I.”

“I don’t see the similarity. You’re weird and creepy, sure, but a kindred spirit? Yeah, I don’t think so. And I’m not a Dreemurr anymore.”

“I THINK YOU WILL FIND THAT YOUR PAST IS NOT SO EASILY CAST ASIDE. BUT IT IS TRUE, YOU ARE MUCH CHANGED FROM THE CHILD YOU WERE IN LIFE.”

I can’t help but smirk. Understatement of the year right there. “Dying and having your SOUL reborn tends to do that.”

“ANGER AND THE THIRST FOR REVENGE BURN BRIGHT INSIDE YOU NOW,” Gaster continues. “THEY FUEL YOU, MAKE YOU DETERMINED AND STRONG. A UNIQUELY HATEFUL BEING. BUT LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. NOW THAT YOUR REVENGE HAS BEEN OBTAINED, WHAT WILL YOU DO NEXT?”

I flash a sickly-sweet smile at him. “Move on to the next world, I guess. What makes you think I’m finished? You’re proof that there’s more out there to destroy.”

“SUCH A POINTLESS IMPULSE,” Gaster clucks, shaking his head sadly. “YES, THE WEB OF EXISTENCE IS VAST, AND FOR ALL YOUR EFFORTS, YOU HAVE ONLY ELIMINATED A SINGLE STRAND. YOU COULD SPEND AN ETERNITY CUTTING OFF ADDITIONAL STRANDS. BUT I PROPOSE A BETTER OPTION.”

I sense we’re getting to the heart of the matter now. The reason for this unwanted interruption. “I’m listening.”

“CHARA DREEMURR, YOU HAVE LIVED A LARGELY SUBTRACTIVE EXISTENCE SINCE YOUR SOUL’S RESURRECTION. NOT MANY GET A SECOND LEASE ON LIFE, AND YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO USE IT TO BURN DOWN A WORLD. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO CREATE ONE INSTEAD?”

That gives me pause. The sarcastic rejections I was preparing fade before they reach my lips. “Create…a world?”

Gaster threads his fingers together, his hands in front of him. “INDEED. A WORLD OF YOUR OWN, THAT YOU CAN SHAPE TO YOUR LIKING.”

My mind is suddenly racing. A world of my own…what would that look like? What would I change? “Is that even possible?”

Gaster smiles, wider than ever before. “WITH ENOUGH DETERMINATION, CHILD, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. IT WILL BE AN EXPERIMENT. ONE THAT I THINK YOU WILL FIND

VERY

VERY

INTERESTING.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, that mysterious doctor...what is he planning?  
> Whatever he's up to, I'm sure Chara's raw Determination will prove most useful...
> 
> Note: Gaster's first couple lines were supposed to be in Wingdings but apparently you can't do that on AO3. C'est la vie.
> 
> Thanks a billion for reading! Tune in next time for "Object Creation."


	2. Object Creation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> world.startSimulation( );
> 
> * A new world is being born.  
> * The ACT of creation...  
> * It fills you with determination.

People always said I was a psycho. Usually not to my face, of course; just whispers behind my back, or the way the other kids at school always seemed frightened to make eye contact with me, let alone talk to me. I gave up denying it, after a while. Leaned into it, let the reputation build around me. Earned or not, I became ‘the crazy one.’

But now I'm beginning to wonder if maybe they had it right. You'd have to be out of your mind to do what I'm about to.

Mental stability is a hard thing to judge in oneself, but psycho or not, I'm pretty sure I have my screws on tighter than Dr. Gaster. He talks about creating an entire world the way my mom might have talked about trying an exciting new recipe for snail pie. Even setting aside the question of whether he can actually pull it off, who would be crazy enough to attempt such a thing? And more to the point, who would be crazy enough to agree to help him?

Here's the thing, though: He offered to let me design it. Or aspects of it, anyways. And while _making_ realities wasn't exactly my original plan, once I started thinking about it, I couldn't stop. What would The World According to Chara look like?

No humans, for one thing. I wouldn't even have to kill anyone to make that happen. Just get rid of them from the get-go. Well, maybe I'll put in one human, for old time’s sake. Call it an author insert.

No humans means no exile. No Underground. No barrier to break, no need to steal SOULs. Monsters can live on the surface like they were supposed to. My family can have the life they were supposed to. Mom and Dad and Asriel...

The sentimentality of the thought surprises me. I thought I was past such attachments. I literally killed them all, I watched them all die and felt nothing, but now here I am dreaming of a world where they're alive and happy. I really must be insane, huh?

But then I realize: What if this is why I did it? This shot at a second chance. The only people I ever cared about, the only people who were ever kind to me...they lost everything because of me. Heartache and horror were the only things I brought them. So killing them was really an act of mercy. That whole timeline was a lost cause. I could have RESET it as many times as I liked, but never far back enough to actually fix the root cause of all their misfortune. Better to just start fresh.

This time will be different. This time I'll give them a kinder world, and I won't mess it up for them. I'll just set it up and let it run. I'll observe, and I'll nudge things here and there, but I won't get close enough to curse them. I won't fool myself into thinking I can be a Dreemurr.

"ARE YOU READY TO BEGIN?"

Gaster's voice, pulling my thoughts back to the here and now.

"No time like the present," I reply, and he chuckles, like I've just said something funny.

Gaster gestures to the chair. It's cold-looking steel, clearly no more built for comfort than the rest of this lab. Before it is a large monitor built into the wall. The doctor stands behind it, holding a sort of a round metal helmet. Several red wires connect the headpiece to the back of the chair. I forget what Gaster said it was called. A "Neural Manifester" or something dumb and scientific like that.

This would probably be a good time to mention that Gaster never actually asked me if I wanted to be a part of all this. Not in so many words, anyway. He explained the benefits of the opportunity with the air of a man working his way to a forgone conclusion. Hell, maybe to him it was. The guy claims to see all points in time at once, so maybe he already knew what my decision would be before I even made it. I didn't ask him what would happen if I refused his offer. Wasn't sure I wanted to know, and fortunately for both of us, I won't have to find out.

Still, I eye the chair and the helmet with a healthy amount of skepticism. "You're sure this doohickey will work?"

It's hard to tell with him, but I think Gaster looks almost offended. "IT IS AN INVENTION OF MY OWN DESIGN."

"You realize that doesn't answer my question though, right?"

"HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN MY ABILITIES, CHILD."

I wish he wouldn't keep calling me that. Sure, I may still look like a kid, but I stopped being a child a long time ago.

No one's ever going to accuse me of chickening out, so I get in the chair and allow Dr. Gaster to strap the helmet to my head. It seems to have been designed for a larger skull than Frisk's; Gaster has to strap it on pretty tight, but somehow he makes it work.

"What's this thing supposed to do again?"

"WERE YOU NOT LISTENING WHEN I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU?"

"Not really."

Gaster makes an annoyed noise, which gives me a fleeting moment of satisfaction. I know, I know – probably not smart to irritate the mad scientist currently hooking me up to a weird machine. What can I say, my habit of being a brat sometimes overrides my self-preservation instincts.

"IT IS A CRUCIAL STEP IN THE OBJECT CREATION STAGE," Gaster explains for the second time. "MY PROGRAM, POWERED BY YOUR DETERMINATION, WILL PROPAGATE OUR NEW WORLD IN ACCORDANCE WITH YOUR BRAIN WAVES. IN EFFECT, YOU CAN DESIGN IT MERELY BY ENVISIONING IT."

"What if I mess up and think of stuff I don't actually want in there?"

"MODIFICATIONS CAN ALWAYS BE MADE PRIOR TO INITIALIZATION. BUT I SUGGEST YOU TRY TO THINK ONLY HAPPY THOUGHTS."

Seriously? Either he's mocking me, or he doesn't know me as well as he claimed. Probably the former. Probably I deserve it.

"I'll do that," I deadpan. "So, what's the worst that could happen if this Neural Whatchamacallit malfunctions or something?"

"IT WON'T. BUT POTENTIALLY, SEVERE BRAIN DAMAGE."

I shrug. "Eh, this brain's just a rental anyways."

If Frisk acknowledges the danger, they don’t do anything to protest. I know they’re in there somewhere, but they’ve been quiet ever since I erased their world. Like they’re hiding from me. From what I made them do. It’s not like them to give up and retreat so completely. I think I may have really broken them this time.

Gaster smiles darkly as he plugs a cable from his computer terminal into the headpiece. "TRUE, THERE IS A CERTAIN LAYER OF SEPARATION BETWEEN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS AND THE BODY YOU CURRENTLY INHABIT. BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THAT HAPLESS VEHICLE, IT IS FORTUNATE THAT YOU ARE BOTH IN SUCH GOOD HANDS."

If he says so. "Just to be clear, though, you've never actually tested this on anyone before."

The crescent curve of Gaster's smile snakes ever upward. "THIS SHALL BE THE TRIAL RUN. EXCITING, ISN'T IT?"

"Easy for the guy not wired up to the untested gizmo to say."

Sorry, Frisk. For what it’s worth, if you're in there listening, I really do hope your brain doesn't get fried. I'm still using it, after all.

“All right,” I say to Gaster as he finishes plugging me in. “How do I use this thing?”

“SIMPLY THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO INCLUDE IN THE SIMULATION.” His hand overs over a button on the console. “YOU MAY FIND THE EXPERIENCE…DISORIENTING.”

“What the hell does that mea-”

 _Woah_. “Holy shiiii-”

I’m trying to speak but my mouth won’t form words right. My body jerks involuntarily. Everything tingles. My head feels like it’s going to crack open. The current…the shock…I can’t move…can’t _think_.

And then the feeling passes, and the tingling fades, and I can breathe again.

“CHARA?” Gaster’s voice sounds further away than it should. “ARE YOU STILL FUNCTIONING?”

I try to lift my head, but it feels heavy, and all my muscles are sore. I glower at the doctor, taking a moment to pant softly until I catch my breath. He made me feel weak. I should kill him for that.

Maybe later.

When I’ve recovered enough to lift my arm, I give him a small thumbs up. “Not dead yet. Thanks for your concern.”

“YOU SHOULD NOW BE MENTALLY CONNECTED TO THE SYSTEM.” He gestures to the monitor; it currently shows nothing but a blank void, not unlike how the world looked after I erased it. “WE CAN NOW BEGIN OBJECT CREATION.”

“What should we create first?”

“LET’S START SMALL. WE WILL DESIGN A CHARACTER TOGETHER.”

He walks me through the process of creating a body. It’s surprisingly simple; his program loads up different options, I make a choice, and it appears on the screen, fully formed. The body I create ends up being similar to my old one, and to the one I’m in now, for that matter – just a bit older and taller. I’ve always wished I was taller. That’s the worst thing about inhabiting Frisk; they’re so goddamn short.

I don’t really care about the body that much, though. What I’m more interested in is getting the hang of the creation process. It’s more limited than I was expecting. I’m constrained to the choices Gaster provides; not what I imagined when he said I could design it. I’m not going to let him dictate the terms of this world.

Gaster seems very excited as he watches me build this new person. He even has me pick the kid’s favorite food and color and other irrelevant stuff, and with my every random answer, his eagerness seems to grow. Perhaps it’s just gratifying for him, seeing that an invention he designed is working, but it’s kind of annoying how into it he is.

“EXCELLENT,” he says when I’m finished. “TRULY EXCELLENT. YOUR ANSWERS…YOUR WONDERFUL CREATION…”

At this point my eyes are rolling into the back of my skull. He thinks this is impressive? That this kid I’ve made is so wonderful? I’ve got the hang of this now, and I have no intention of following whatever blueprint he has in mind. If I’m going to create a world, it’s going to be mine from top to bottom. Enough with the tutorial. Time to show him what I can really do.

“Will now be discarded,” I interrupt, mimicking his formal manner of speech. I will away the body I’ve created, and the monitor goes blank.

“WHAT?” Gaster snaps. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

A smile creeps across my face. I can feel the energy of my thoughts, surging from my brain to the computer system I’m hooked up to. The sensation…the power…it fills me with Determination.

“No one can choose who they are in this world,” I sneer at Gaster. “I choose that for them. I am Chara, the destroyer of worlds…and now I’m gonna have one all my own.”

It’s like a fountain has been turned on. I think of my new world, all the details coming to me in a rush of giddy inspiration, and it is there. With visualization comes actualization. Next step…initialization.

“And _you_ …” The child in my mind’s eye, a perfect amalgamation. A bit of Frisk, and a bit of the me I once was. This kid’s gonna go far.

“Your…name…is…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, as ever, for reading! If you're enjoying the story, feel free to leave kudos or a comment. And tune in soon for "Left in Isolation."


	3. Left in Isolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * It's a beautiful day outside.  
> * You look in the mirror.  
> * ...  
> * It's only you.

“Kris!”

“Hmm?” You lift your head, turning your gaze from the mug in your hands to look at your big brother.

Asriel is sitting length-wise in the booth across from you, back against the wall, legs sprawled out across the seat, arm resting on the table. He looks comfortable, at ease with the space he takes up in the world, in a way that you envy.

“You weren’t listening to a word I was saying, were you?” he complains. You can tell he’s annoyed, but he buries it under a light, teasing tone.

“Sorry,” you mutter. “I was daydreaming…”

“What about?”

About Asriel. About all the happy times you and he shared. About another life where he wasn’t about to leave you.

You don’t want to say this, so you change the subject. “I’m sorry, Azzy. What were you talking about?”

Your brother’s ear twitches. You’re the only person he still allows to call him Azzy. Well, you and Mom, because no one’s gonna stop Mom from doing that.

“I was just talking about the classes I’m gonna be taking, and what the town’s supposed to be like, and…” Asriel trails off. “You know what, forget it. I don’t want to bore you with all the details.”

You bring your mug of hot chocolate close to your face and blow on it, so you don’t have to look Asriel in the eyes. “No, I’m interested…”

“I know what interested looks like in you, Kris.”

You let out a little frustrated sigh. Brothers. Why’s he gotta know you so well?

…why does he have to be the only person who does?

“Your time will come, kiddo,” Asriel says. “Just give it a couple years and you’ll be off to college yourself.”

He thinks he’s being reassuring, but he’s missed the mark. Of course Asriel would assume you’re jealous. That college is something to eagerly await. Having grown up with you, he forgets that you’re different. High school is bad enough; the thought of being the only human on a whole _campus_ of monsters freaks you out. Oh yeah, you can’t wait for that; for class after class of working extra hard just to prove you belong there; for spending all your free time locked in your dorm room because how could you possibly be brave enough to go out and socialize? You’d be a curiosity at best, a freak at worst, but either way everyone would talk about you behind your back.

You give a quick, sudden shake of your head, an involuntary reaction whenever your thoughts start spiraling. Asriel sees; he knows something’s up. He knows all your tells.

To his credit, he immediately stops talking about himself and leans forward. “What’s bothering you, Kris? You’ve been really withdrawn lately.”

‘More than usual’ is implicit and unstated. Because usually Asriel is one of the few people you’re _not_ withdrawn around. But ever since he got the acceptance letter, you can’t look at him without thinking, ‘It’s ending, it’s ending, it’s ending.’

You’ve only ever known one life. You’ve only had one world that you can remember. And now it’s ending. First Mom and Dad’s divorce, and now Azzy…

Your throat tightens. You sip your cocoa, but the warmth doesn’t help. You can feel the tears building behind your eyes, and it makes you mad at yourself. You’re too old to be crying in a diner like a stupid baby.

A choked sob escapes your throat.

Asriel is concerned now. He hops out of his side of the booth and slides in next to you. An arm around your shoulders. You set your cup down and lean your head into him. He’s warm and safe and familiar, and you never knew how much you took him for granted.

“It’s okay, Kris,” Asriel says gently as he hugs you. “You’re gonna be okay.”

“I’m gonna miss you…” You whisper. You want to say, ‘Don’t go,’ but you know it’s too late for that, and you don’t want to be selfish. You have to accept that there’s more to Asriel’s life than being your brother.

“I’ll miss you, too,” Asriel says. “But it won’t be forever, yeah? I’ll be back for summer break and the holidays. And someone’s gotta look after Mom and Dad while I’m gone, and you’re the only one I can count on for that.”

“I will.” That’s another thing you’ll miss about Asriel. It would be so easy for him to keep treating you like a kid, but he doesn’t. He knows you’re growing up.

You just wish he didn’t have to grow up faster.

********

 

“Kris!”

Ughhhh. Is it morning already?

Toriel strides purposefully across your room and opens the curtains. Yup, definitely morning. You roll over in bed and turn your face away from the light.

“Kris, if you do not get up, we will be late for school! I will wait outside for you, alright?”

You don’t want to get up. You don’t want to go to school. You want to go back to sleep before the dream you were having fades from your mind. It was a sad dream, but you wanted it to last.

But your mom is waiting for you, and you’ll never hear the end of it if you make her late to work again, so you force yourself out of your bed.

The bed is getting too small for you, but the room has gotten bigger. Or at least emptier. Your brother’s bed is still there, and all his posters and trophies, but the dust is gathering on them, and his absence feels tangible. You should have been thrilled to finally have your own room, but it’s not your own, not really. Not while everything of Asriel, save for his presence, still lingers in it.

You look out the window. It’s a beautiful day outside. You close the curtains.

You slept in your clothes again. A quick sniff around the armpits confirms that you smell passable, so you don’t bother changing into a fresh outfit. Too much effort.

Your stomach growls as you pass the kitchen, and you _know_ there’s leftover pie in the fridge, but there’s no time to stop and eat. Your own fault for sleeping through your alarm. Though with Mom around, who really needs an alarm clock? She’d never let you be late for school. She’ll just forget to wake you up early enough for you to get breakfast first.

So you leave the house with a rumble in your belly and a cloud over your thoughts, but then you get to the car, and you see that there’s a plate of scrambled eggs and toast with jam waiting for you to eat on the way, and your mother has packed you a lunch because she knows you don’t like the cafeteria food, and you realize, not for the first time, that you don’t deserve her.

You want to express your gratitude, but you don’t know how, so you just eat in silence while Toriel talks about this and that on the drive. You know that she knows that you love her. You’re just not much good with words.

You get to the school and Toriel heads off to her classroom, but before she does, she gives you a gigantic hug, right there in the hallway. You ought to be embarrassed, but for once, you don’t mind.

And then you’re alone in the hall with your slept-in clothes and your messy hair and you feel tired. You can hear Ms. Alphys through the classroom door, but you’re only a minute late and what’s one minute more, really? So you stand there for a moment and you tell yourself that it’s just another day, and the class isn’t that bad, really, even if Alphys is painfully awkward and some of the other kids are mean. It’s not all bad. Noelle is in that class, and she’s about the nearest thing to a close friend that you have. Maybe you’ll ask her if she wants to hang out later and study for that math test. That would be nice. You haven’t spent enough time with her lately. Or with anyone, for that matter.

You are 16 years old, and your SOUL is filled with melancholy. You pull on the straps of your backpack, adjusting the weight, and then you hunch your shoulders and duck your head, and you push open the door and face the world with all the bravery of a soldier in an unacknowledged war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems Chara can't conceive of a world where their surrogate is happy.  
> But at least they have a family. At least they have a life. At least they have a home.  
> At least for now.  
> For their reality hangs on a fragile digital thread...
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading! Leave a comment or some kudos if you're feeling it, and stay tuned for more soon!


	4. Blind My Vision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * THE DETERMINATION IS GROWING...  
> * STRONGER, YET STRONGER.  
> * IT WILL NOT BE LONG NOW.

“INTERESTING…VERY INTERESTING.”

He’s been repeating that for ages now, hunched over the screen analyzing data or some shit like that, while I take a much-needed break from being plugged into his weird chair. Turns out creating realities is tiring. I may be able to tap into Frisk’s determination, but it’s not an unlimited resource.

I thought I could get away with just ignoring Gaster for a while to rest and recharge, but clearly, he’s just gonna keep at it until I say something. Figures a being outside of linear time and space would have more patience than me (though to be fair, that’s not a high bar).

“Dude, if you’ve got something to say, just say it.”

Gaster smiles, in that patronizing way that suggests you’re doing exactly what he expected you to. I’ve grown to really hate that smile. If I knew how to work all this machinery without him – and if he was capable of being killed – I would happily take a knife to his face.

“I MERELY FIND IT CURIOUS THAT DESPITE BEING A WORLD OF YOUR OWN CREATION, THE CREATURE IN IT THAT MOST RESEMBLES YOU SEEMS TO HAVE A RATHER UNSATISFACTORY LIFE.”

I turn my gaze back to the monitor on the wall, which currently shows Kris, sitting in their classroom with their shoulders hunched, trying to ignore the whispers and sneers of their classmates behind them. I can’t hear what they’re saying, but I can guess.

“What, just because it’s a fake world, everything about it should be perfect?”

“NOT NECESSARILY. BUT I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED YOU TO CREATE SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE, SHALL WE SAY, IDEAL. IF ONLY FOR THE PURPOSES OF LIVING VICARIOUSLY.”

Screw you too, Gaster. “Maybe I set the whole thing up to torment Kris, just for shits and giggles. I mean, I’m a psychopath, haven’t you heard? Just look at what I did to Frisk.”

Gaster just makes a skeptical _hmm_ noise. He doesn’t buy it, and frankly neither do I. Frisk was a means to an end, and the truth is, I didn’t intend for Kris to turn out quite like this. I don’t know what I intended, really, but Gaster’s Neural Whatever seems to have drawn as much from my subconscious as from my conscious intent. I thought I’d make a world where the Dreemurrs were happy and together, but maybe I really can’t conceive of such a thing. Maybe I’m too tainted to imagine anything close to my old life.

“I FIND IT PARTICULARLY INTERESTING –” Gaster starts to say.

“I don’t care.” I keep watching the screen as Kris files out of class with the other students.

Gaster ignores the interruption. “I FIND IT PARTICULARLY INTERESTING THAT YOUR ‘BROTHER,’ ASRIEL, DOES NOT EXIST IN YOUR SIMULATION. EXCEPT IN MEMORIES, OF COURSE, BUT THOSE ARE EVEN LESS REAL THAN THE REST OF THAT WORLD. ASRIEL’S ABSENCE IS ODD. DID YOU NOT WISH TO SEE YOUR BROTHER AGAIN?”

I snort derisively, nostrils flaring. “Why would I? Asriel was a pathetic little weakling crybaby.” He cried when I killed him, too. That disgusting little flower, crying for mercy, begging to be spared. So much fear in his voice…

 _It was a mercy kill_ , I remind myself, and turn my thoughts elsewhere.

“PERHAPS SO,” Gaster muses. “BUT HE WAS STILL YOUR FAMILY, AND THERE IS REALLY NO SUBSTITUTE IN THIS WORLD FOR FAMILY.”

What a load of shit. Maybe for some people, but not every family is the Dreemurrs.

“What would someone like you know about family, anyways?”

Gaster hesitates to reply, but only for a moment. “MORE THAN YOU MIGHT THINK. I HAD CHILDREN, ONCE.”

“Once? What happened, they get lost in time and space too?”

“NO. THEY ENCOUNTERED AN EVEN WORSE FATE.”

“Yeah? What was that?”

“YOU.”

I feel goosebumps rise on Frisk’s arms, and I whip my head around. Though I never heard him move, Gaster is now standing behind me. And his eyes…his eyes are glowing, one orange and one blue, like a bright, smoking flame.

“I EXPECT YOU REMEMBER MEETING PAPYRUS AND SANS.”

Shit, shit, shit…I didn’t just meet them, I killed them. Sans, in long and bitter combat; Papyrus, in cold blood. How could I have been so blind as to not recognize them in Gaster? After all, I never knew another monster, save those two, to have a body in the form of human bones.

I’m on my feet in an instant, my trusty knife, never far from my hand, pointed at Gaster. “Stay back.”

But he’s already proven that I can’t hurt him, and now he just laughs. The sound echoes horribly through the lab.

“Don’t try anything stupid,” I snarl. “I’m not so easy to kill either, you know.”

“OF COURSE YOU AREN’T. IF YOU WERE, YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN PAST SANS.”

I take a step back, body tensed. “Wasn’t personal. He was in my way, that’s all.”

“FEAR NOT, CHARA DREEMURR. IF I WAS GOING TO DO YOU HARM, I WOULD HAVE DONE SO BY NOW. BUT THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE IMPULSE INDEED.”

I pause, just for a second. Gotta stay sharp. He could be trying to trick me. “What do you mean, counter-productive?”

“ONE SUCH AS YOU SHOULD NOT BE WASTED, CHILD. I COULD NOT HAVE DONE ALL THIS” – he gestures to the monitors – “WITHOUT YOU.”

“Why is it so important to you, anyways? This experiment.”

Gaster turns his back to me, as if daring me to make a move. I remain where I am.

“YOU MUST UNDERSTAND MY PREDICAMENT, CHARA. I CANNOT SAY HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN SCATTERED THROUGH EXISTENCE, BECAUSE TIME NO LONGER HAS MEANING FOR ME. I LONG TO BE A MAN OF THE WORLD ONCE MORE, TO BE ABLE TO INTERACT AND INFLUENCE. I YEARN TO ONCE AGAIN HAVE A HOME.”

“But I destroyed your home. I erased that whole timeline, past, present and future.”

“YOU DID. AND I CANNOT ASK YOU TO UNDO THAT DECISION. PERHAPS YOU COULD HAVE DONE SO IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE FACT, BUT THE TIMELINE QUICKLY FADES FROM REALITY’S MEMORY. I’M AFRAID IT WOULD NOW TAKE AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF DETERMINATION TO RECREATE THAT WORLD, MORE, I SUSPECT, THAN EVEN YOU CAN SAFELY WIELD.”

“Then what’s the point of all this? Why have me make a simulated world?”

“BECAUSE WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER OPENS. IN DESTRUCTION, THERE IS OPPORTUNITY. I KNOW THIS BETTER THAN MOST.”

He steps forward, and my grip on the knife tightens, but he just walks past me to stare at the screen. “WE DON’T HAVE TO BE THE LIMITED BEINGS WE ONCE WERE. WE CAN BE MORE THAN THAT. WE CAN BE THE GODS OF OUR OWN WORLD. CREATE IT, SHAPE IT, LIVE IN IT – WHATEVER WE SEE FIT TO DO. CONTROL, THE ONE THING THAT BOTH OF US ARE WANTING FOR, IS IN OUR GRASP. BUT I NEED YOUR POWER, YOUR DETERMINATION…NOT JUST TO CREATE THIS WORLD, BUT TO MAINTAIN IT. WITHOUT YOU, I HAVE NOTHING.”

“Okay,” I say. I slowly lower the knife, because even though I don’t trust Gaster as far as I can throw him, I can see the logic. “Okay. I can buy that you need me. But just to be clear, if it was possible for you to do this without me…”

Gaster turns his head to me, the flame back in his eyes and his smile as sharp as my knife. “YOU’D BE DEAD WHERE YOU STAND.”

Well, it’s good to have that cleared up, I guess. “Glad we understand each other. So, what now?”

Gaster looks back to the monitor. Kris is leaving school, walking alone through the streets of their little town. Another ordinary day. I was pretty proud of that town, for my first time creating a world. Gaster seems less impressed.

“NOW WE TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT. YOUR REALITY IS A BIT…PEDESTRIAN. BUT THEN, YOU HAVE THE LIMITED IMAGINATION OF A HUMAN. WE CAN DREAM BIGGER.”

“The simulation stays intact. No resets. Or else I won’t help you.”

I’m a little surprised by how quickly the words come out of my mouth. I didn’t realize how…possessive I felt about my creation until that moment. It’s just…Kris and the rest of their world are brand new. They deserve a chance, at least, don’t they?

Gaster chuckles. “DON’T WORRY. I’M NOT PROPOSING STARTING FROM SCRATCH. BUT THERE IS ROOM FOR EXPANSION. THE INTRODUCTION OF A NEW ELEMENT.”

I’m still skeptical, despite the reassurance. “What did you have in mind?”

“YOU’LL SEE. I BELIEVE I WILL HANDLE THIS PART MYSELF. BUT I WILL NEED YOUR DETERMINATION TO FUEL MY DESIGNS. ARE YOU FEELING UP FOR ANOTHER SESSION?”

I nod. I’m feeling good. Determined. To keep my dangerous ally close, and to see this through, for better or for worse.

Gaster smiles, and gestures to the chair. “THEN LET’S BEGIN.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE WORLD GROWS DARKER.  
> THIS NEXT PART SHOULD BE  
> VERY  
> VERY  
> EXCITING.


	5. Your Only Satisfaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * It's a beautiful day outside.  
> * You look in the mirror.  
> * ...  
> * There's something else there.

In spite of all the things that make you different, you’ve lived a normal, mundane life up until now.

The Dark World changes that. Changes everything. From mundanity to adventure in a single afternoon. Prophecies and battles and card-creatures in dark castles, and Chaos Kings and strange, wonderful new friends. An entire world to explore – to save, even. You never knew such things were possible, and you certainly never imagined that something like that could happen to _you_. For the first time, you feel different in a good way. Special.

But then you seal that fountain and you go back home, and it all starts to feel unreal, like a dream. Because as amazing as the experience was, it wasn’t really _your_ experience. You felt vaguely outside your own body the whole time, like you were watching yourself do things you hadn’t chosen to do. It was scary and disorienting at first, but you got used to it. You chalked up the feeling to instinct, some kind of intuition guiding you, and you let it. You didn’t think, you just acted, and after all, everything turned out okay, didn’t it? But then it ends, and the whole thing feels like someone else’s memory.

You would be worried that you had lost your mind, if it wasn’t for Susie. Because you _know_ it all happened; it must have, because Susie remembers it too. Susie, who you’d always tried to avoid, who started the day by threatening to eat your face off and ended it as perhaps your new best friend. Someone who shared something with you that not even Asriel would understand.

Toriel asked you how your day was when you returned home from school, and you couldn’t possibly even begin to explain how your world was just expanded, that you had the best day of your life. You just said you were hanging out with a friend, and your mom seemed so pleased by this that she didn’t press you for the details. A friend, any friend, was good enough.

But you forgot to get your new friend’s phone number before parting ways (you’re not sure she even has a cell phone), and you don’t want to wait until school tomorrow to talk to her, you want to text her right now just to verify that no, you’re not going crazy, it all really happened.

All of which is why you can’t sleep. You thought you’d be out like a light; certainly, your body feels tired enough to sleep. But your mind is still a whirlwind of activity, still trying to make sense of the day’s events, and you’re afraid that if you go to sleep, you’ll wake up and realize that the whole thing was a dream.

But despite everything, sleep takes you in the end. And when you do awaken, you find that the dream is just beginning.

 

********

 

At first, I just find the whole thing annoying. The purple dinosaur girl? Total bully. The sickeningly sweet goat boy? Reminds me way too much of Asriel. The little blue…thing? I don’t even know what to make of him. I’m so very tempted to make Kris kill them all, if only just to shut them up.

But something seems to stop me. Maybe it’s because my indirect control over Kris is more limited than my direct possession of Frisk; it’s more like mental suggestion than complete control. I can alter their behavior, and I can direct their actions, but I can’t guarantee that they follow those commands. Whenever I try to make them strike a killing blow on one of their foes, they seem to hold back, and the creature takes the opportunity to flee.

Or maybe it’s because Gaster is urging me to play along. This is his part of our little game; his world, his design. Or at least I think it is. When I asked him how he came up with all of it, he just smiled and said it was based on a place he once knew. Don’t ask me what that means. I’ve stopped trying to make sense of his cryptic bullshit. All I know is that he somehow conjured up this “Dark World” and grafted it onto our simulation, and when Kris and Susie stumbled into it, he showed me how I could take a more active role in guiding events.

Like I said, at first I couldn’t see what the point was. Here’s the thing, though: I don’t know when it happened, but at some point, I realized that I’m actually…enjoying myself? It’s a different kind of satisfaction than I’m used to; back in the Underground, when Frisk and I…when we did what we did, I was on a mission. I didn’t stop to have fun, or to second guess myself. I didn’t let myself feel much of anything. I was numb to everything but my goal and my determination to see it through.

But this is different. Guiding Kris through this place, so similar in many ways to the world I come from…I could almost forget that I’m not really there, that I’m still in Gaster’s lab. In fact, I get really into it. I even make Kris try ACTing instead of FIGHTing sometimes. Frisk would be proud of me. Maybe. I can’t say for sure, because they’re still hiding from me. Sometimes I try poking around at the corners of our mind, just to see if I can prod them loose from wherever they’re holed up, but there’s no response. I know they’re in there somewhere, but I can’t find them. And given that I have no use for them, it’s weird how much that bothers me.

But I turn my thoughts away from Frisk and focus on the simulation, on guiding Kris through the Dark World. I’ve lost all track of time (such as it is in whatever plane of reality the lab exists in), but it feels like I’ve been hooked up to Gaster’s chair for hours by the time Kris and his friends finally reach that fountain of darkness and shut it off.

I’ve been so focused on what I’m doing that I didn’t realize how much determination it was taking to interface with the program for that long. Once I stop, a wave of exhaustion flows over me. I lean back in the metal chair, Gaster’s helmet still on my head, and close my eyes.

“I’M VERY IMPRESSED WITH YOUR PERFORMANCE, CHARA.” Gaster’s voice, reverberating from somewhere behind me.

“Uh…thanks?” I mutter. Not really sure what he means. He’s talking like I just got an A+ on a test or something. “What did I do?”

“EVERYTHING I HOPED YOU WOULD. YOUR DETERMINATION IS MORE POWERFUL THAN THAT OF ANY SUBJECT I’VE EVER SEEN.”

“Buddy, I’m not your ‘subject,’” I say crossly. Scientist or no, I’m getting real tired of Gaster’s detached observations, like I’m something fascinating that he’s looking at under a microscope.

“NO, SADLY NOT,” Gaster sighs. “WOULD THAT I HAD THE CHANCE FOR MORE THOROUGH EXPERIMENTATION. BUT I HAVE HIGHER PRIORITIES, AND YOU, CHARA…YOU’VE PLAYED YOUR PART.”

“Wait, what?” I twist around in the chair to stare at him. “You say that like it’s over. We’ve only just started!”

Gaster remains aloof. “I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED FROM YOU NOW.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding. I made this whole thing possible for you, and now you’re cutting me out?”

“NO.”

With a hiss, panels slide open on the chair and steel bands shoot out, encircling my ankles, torso and neck before I can react.

Gaster teleports in front of me, leaning over me with an immense smile. “I’M PUTTING YOU IN.”

“What the hell?! LET ME GO!” I twist and struggle, but the restraints are too tight, even against Frisk’s small body. I can’t get free. “I thought you needed me!”

“FOOLISH CHILD…I ONLY NEEDED YOUR DETERMINATION. AND YOU SO HELPFULLY PROVIDED IT. EVERY TIME YOU GOT IN THAT CHAIR, MY MACHINERY SIPHONED OFF DETERMINATION FROM YOU AND STORED IT. BY MY CALCULATIONS, I SHOULD NOW HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH. CERTAINLY MORE THAN YOU’VE EVER TAPPED INTO AT ONE TIME.”

“Why?” I’m so furious that my voice shakes, but I need answers. “You weren’t telling me everything, were you? What are you really after?”

“I TOLD YOU THE TRUTH, OR AS MUCH OF IT AS YOU NEEDED TO KNOW. DID YOU REALLY THINK I CARE ABOUT PLAYING GOD IN A FAKE WORLD? SUCH PURSUITS ARE FOR INSECURE CHILDREN LIKE YOURSELF. I ONLY CARE ABOUT REGAINING MY HOME, AND THE LIFE I ONCE HAD. AND NOW, WITH YOUR HELP, I HAVE ENOUGH RAW DETERMINATION TO NOT ONLY RESTORE THE TIMELINE YOU ERASED, BUT TO RESET IT FURTHER THAN YOU AND FRISK EVER DID.”

I let out a harsh bark of a laugh. “You’ll get yourself killed. Monster bodies can’t handle that much determination. It’ll destroy you. Or did you not notice how badly Alphys’ experiments went wrong?”

Gaster scoffs derisively. “ALPHYS IS A MERE SHADOW OF THE SCIENTIST I AM. SHE FAILED TO UNDERSTAND THAT DETERMINATION ALONE IS NOT ENOUGH. YOU NEED STRENGTH EQUIVALENT TO A HUMAN SOUL TO WIELD IT.”

“And that’s where I come in, is it? You’re gonna use my SOUL to channel all that determination through?”

“NO, CHARA, NOT YOURS. YOU DON’T HAVE A SOUL ANYMORE. AND THE AMOUNT OF DETERMINATION THIS WILL TAKE IS MORE THAN A SINGLE SOUL CAN HANDLE. BUT FRISK’S HUMAN SOUL, AUGMENTED WITH THE SOULS OF EVERY LIVING BEING IN THE DARK WORLD…THAT SHOULD DO THE TRICK NICELY.”

I squint at him, confused. “The Darkners? But they’re simulated beings. They don’t have real SOULs, do they?”

“OH, NO, YOU MISUNDERSTAND. THAT PLANE OF EXISTENCE IS VERY REAL. I MERELY FORMED A LINK BETWEEN IT AND THE ARTIFICIAL WORLD WE CREATED. I TOLD YOU, THE WEB OF REALITY HAS MANY THREADS. IT IS NOT SO DIFFICULT, FOR A MAN OF MY UNIQUE TALENTS, TO TIE SOME OF THOSE THREADS TOGETHER…OR TO WEAVE NEW ONES.”

“Congratulations,” I spit at him, “you’re a freaking spider. So what happens now?”

“NOW I WILL DISPOSE OF YOUR IRRITATING CONSCIOUSNESS, AND ELIMINATE BOTH WORLDS, GATHERING THE DARKNER SOULS IN THE PROCESS.”

Oh no. No no no no no. “You’re going to destroy the simulation?!”

“I NO LONGER NEED IT. IT WAS ONLY A RUSE. AS WAS YOUR INDIRECT PARTICIPATION IN THE DARK WORLD. YOU SEE, THAT FOUNTAIN OF DARKNESS YOU STOPPED…YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE HELPING THEM RIGHT THE BALANCE OF LIGHT AND DARK AND PREVENT CATASTROPHE, DIDN’T YOU? BUT IT WAS THE BONDING OF THAT WORLD WITH OUR SIMULATED ONE THAT UPSET THAT BALANCE. THE DARKNERS THOUGHT THAT THE ACTIVATION OF A NEW FOUNTAIN HERALDED DOOMSDAY, BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY A FAILSAFE TO MAINTAIN THE BALANCE. BUT NOW, THANKS TO YOU, THE DESTRUCTION OF THE DARK WORLD CAN CONTINUE.”

“That…that can’t be. Kris and the others, they were fulfilling the prophecy! They were meant to save that world!”

Gaster chuckles coldly. “PROPHECIES ARE TRICKY THINGS. BOTH THE DARKNERS AND THE MONSTERS OF THE UNDERGROUND HAVE LEGENDS THAT SPEAK OF A MYSTERIOUS ANGEL. A BEING OF DESTRUCTION. A HARBINGER OF DOOM. HAVEN’T YOU REALIZED, CHARA? THAT BEING IS YOU. YOU ARE THE ‘DESTROYER OF WORLDS,’ AFTER ALL. ISN’T THAT WHAT YOU CALLED YOURSELF?”

Oh god. He’s right, isn’t he? I screwed it all up again. Every world I touch…I really thought it could be different this time. But now Kris is going to die, and the Darkners, and I didn’t even mean for it to happen this time, but it’s still all my fault.

“Not again. Not these worlds. Gaster, please.”

Gaster leans uncomfortably close to my face, scrutinizing my expression. “A GLIMMER OF REMORSE? ALAS, TOO LITTLE, AND MUCH TOO LATE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING WHEN I HAD THE ACCIDENT THAT SCATTERED ME THROUGHOUT TIME? I WAS TRYING TO FIX YOUR MISTAKES. TO BUILD A MACHINE THAT COULD MANIPULATE TIME, SO I COULD GO BACK AND PREVENT YOUR DEATH AND THAT OF PRINCE ASRIEL. I THOUGHT I NEEDED TO SAVE YOU. I SEE NOW HOW WRONG I WAS. IT WAS EVERYONE ELSE THAT NEEDED TO BE SAVED _FROM_ YOU.”

“Don’t blame me for your own mistake, Gaster! It’s not my fault your experiment went wrong!”

But Gaster ignores me. "I WILL TELL YOU WHAT I’M GOING TO DO NOW, CHARA DREEMURR. I’M GOING TO USE THIS DETERMINATION TO RESET OUR OLD WORLD AT A POINT BEFORE MY ACCIDENT, AND I’M GOING TO PREVENT IT FROM OCCURRING. BUT FIRST, BEFORE I CEMENT A NEW TIMELINE, I’M GOING TO FIND YOU AND SMOTHER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. YOU WILL NEVER BRING TRAGEDY UPON THE ROYAL FAMILY. YOUR BROTHER WILL LIVE. THE KING AND QUEEN WILL REMAIN TOGETHER. ALL WILL BE PUT RIGHT. THE RESULTING TIME PARADOX MAY CLAIM MY EXISTENCE, BUT I WILL FADE FROM MEMORY CONTENT IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I FIXED THE WORLD YOU BROKE.”

“You son of a –” Rage consumes me, and I thrash against the restraints, to no avail. I throw my head forward and back, trying to at least shake off the helmet, but it’s still strapped on tight. “I thought we were partners! I trusted you!”

“NO, YOU DIDN’T,” Gaster says simply. “NO MORE THAN I TRUSTED YOU. MAKE NO MISTAKE, CHARA, I ONLY KEPT YOU ALIVE THIS LONG BECAUSE YOU WERE VALUABLE TO ME. I WOULD NEVER ACTUALLY PARTNER WITH A CREATURE LIKE YOU. AFTER ALL…”

He pushes his face closer to mine, and the flame in his eyes is back, the orange and the blue, hostile and otherworldly.

“YOU KILLED MY CHILDREN.”

He moves to his computer console, and I desperately make a silent appeal to Frisk. I’m so sorry for everything. If you’re in there, if you can hear me, I don’t expect forgiveness, but I could really use your help. Help me RESET, get me out of here, we’ll do things your way from now on, just please, help me stop Gaster.

But Frisk doesn’t come.

Gaster presses a button, and the helmet on my head starts humming menacingly. I don’t know what he’s going to do, but I grip the arms of the chair and prepare for the worst.

“TAKE HEART, CHARA, IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU HAVE SERVED A USEFUL PURPOSE.”

The current rushes through me, rooting me to the spot, I can’t move, I can’t even scream, everything is on fire, the room spins and blurs.

Gaster is watching me, smiling.

He is the last thing I see.


	6. Unite So Deeply

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * It's a beautiful day outside.  
> * You look in the mirror.  
> * ...  
> * It's not you.

You watch your body hit the floor like a sandbag, limp and heavy. One moment you were asleep and dreaming; the next, with an indescribable, soul-wrenching tug, you were outside your own body, which flung itself from the bed just as your SOUL came loose from its vessel.

Waves of confused panic wash over you, and you try to shout, but you don’t have a voice anymore. You’re just a mind now, just a consciousness, formless and untethered, floating in the air above your bedroom.

On the floor below you, your body stirs.

It picks itself up off the ground, and looks down at its hands, then at the room around it, its movements slow and uncertain, disoriented.

“Oh no,” you hear your voice say. “This…this can’t be happening.”

The words echo your own feelings on the matter, but you are not the speaker. You don’t know what’s happened to you, or who – or what – is making your body move and speak. But you force your panicked mind to focus long enough to form a theory: Whatever was causing that feeling you’d had in the Dark World, that vague sensation of your actions not being your own, has just gotten a lot worse.

“No, no, no!” Your body starts to pace back and forth. It trips over its own feet and stumbles, swearing. “Shit, new legs. _Long_ legs. Always wanted to be taller. Not like this, though. FUCK! Gotta get…gotta stop him, gotta get out of here, out of _this_ …fucking…DAMN IT!”

It crouches, bent over, digging its fingers into your tousled hair, an agonized expression twisting your familiar features into a silent scream.

Whoever’s controlling your body, they seem extremely agitated, and with the way they look about ready to tear your hair out, you’re concerned they might physically harm themselves; that is to say, you. You will yourself closer and are surprised to find that though you have no physical form that you can feel, you’re able to move your viewpoint through the room; it’s as though you’re a pair of eyes that’s not attached to anything, but nonetheless self-directed.

You drift, for lack of a better word, toward your body, trying to get a closer look. Suddenly, your head snaps up, staring right at you. Their eyes – _your_ eyes – glint with all the hyper-focused panic of a trapped animal.

_They can see me._

The thing in your body tilts its head to the side, its expression turning from fear to curiosity. “Are you…? Is that Kris?”

_It can see me, it can see me, it has my body and it knows my name._

Terror takes hold of you, and you blindly fling yourself back, into the corner, away from the thing with your face.

Your body straightens up and walks slowly toward you. “Look at you…you’re just a little SOUL. I didn’t know you even had one. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to displace you.”

You’ve backed yourself into a corner, with nowhere to run. Your body crouches down to examine you more closely.

“Don’t be afraid. I can fix this. Just stay still for a moment…”

Your hand lunges out and grabs at you. You try and dart under it and away, but your body spins around and leaps at you, falling on top of you and pinning you to the floor. You have no body of your own, but you can still somehow feel its weight on you.

“I said…stay…still!”

The realignment of perception is as quick and as disorienting as before – a sensation of being forcibly pushed back into your body and mind, and then you can see and sense and feel in the normal way again, with your own eyes and brain and hands.

You scramble backward on the floor until your back hits the bed. You’re hyperventilating, and you feel dizzy. “Oh god oh god oh god oh g-”

But then your voice cuts out, and your body stills, and you pick yourself up again, slowly and more assuredly this time. A sinking feeling of dread settles over your mind like a blanket, because even though you’re back inside your body again, something else is still in control.

“I think you’d better let me drive for now,” your voice says out loud, unbidden. You’re so fucking scared, and you can still feel your heart beating in your chest like it’s trying to break through your rib cage.

Whatever’s controlling you can feel it too. “Heh,” they observe, “you’re freaking out right now, aren’t you? I can’t blame you. I was scared too for a moment there. But I’m gonna need you to get a grip, Kris.”

_What…who are you?_

You clench your teeth and let out a long, hissing breath through them. “I’m Chara. And for the moment, it looks like I’m you, too. It’s complicated.”

_You can hear me?_

“Yeah, I can hear you, dipshit,” Chara says with a snort. “I’m in your goddamn brain, and you’re really loud. Get ahold of yourself, buddy. Take some mental deep breaths or whatever.”

You do the opposite and strain yourself harder, really trying with all the willpower you can muster to speak out loud, to make your body move, to somehow take back the reins.

“Stop that,” Chara growls. “Calm the hell down.”

_You can’t just take my body from me and then tell me to calm down!_

Chara clenches and unclenches a fist. “Sorry,” they say, dragging out the syllables. “I’m not happy about this either, okay? I didn’t choose to take you for a spin. Someone did this to both of us.”

_Who?_

“Gaster,” Chara says through clenched teeth. The name means nothing to you. “He must have separated my consciousness from Frisk somehow and put me inside the simulation. I’m a literal goddamn ghost in the machine.” They let out a peal of bitter laughter. “Oh god, how ironic is that?”

_I have no idea what you’re talking about._

“Look, all you need to know right now is that someone out there wants to hurt both of us.” Chara begins pacing back and forth. Walking without telling your body to do so is the weirdest feeling. It makes you feel motion-sick.

“He couldn’t kill me without killing my vessel,” Chara rambles, “and he needs Frisk’s determination, so he took me out of Frisk. Put me in a new vessel, uploaded me somehow, because...fuck. Shit! He’s gonna pull the plug and throw me in the recycling bin like a goddamn piece of digital trash!”

Chara seizes one of Asriel’s trophies from the shelf above his bed and throws it across the room. It bounces off the wall and hits the floor with a crash, rolling into the corner.

_Stop! Stop it!_

“He’s gonna ERASE it all, Kris! You, me, this whole world…plus Ralsei and Lancer and the Dark World to boot. Everyone and everything, gone!”

You stop in your mental tracks, trying to register what Chara’s telling you. Dread is creeping into the edges of your mind again. _My friends…they’re in danger?_

Chara emits a panicked laugh, devoid of humor. “You catch on quick, don’t you? They’re more than in danger, Kris. If we don’t stop Gaster somehow, we’re all doomed.”

_You need to tell me what’s going on, Chara. Right now._

Just as Chara can sense your thoughts, you can detect emotions coming off them, as keenly as your nose and ears would detect scents and sounds. Right now, what you’re sensing is hesitation, evasiveness, and maybe a bit of guilt.

“Are you sure you want to know?” they say quietly.

Before you can think of a reply, your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a knock on your bedroom door.

“My child? Are you alright in there?”

To you, the voice is familiar and comforting. As soon as you hear it, you feel a little bit safer. But Chara freezes, and this time it’s not you making your heartbeat accelerate and your chest and throat tighten. The only emotion you can detect from Chara in that moment is fear.

The doorknob turns and the door creaks open.


	7. Trapped in LOVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * My child...  
> * Y...you...really hate me that much?

“My child?”

Of course. Of course Toriel would be here, too. I’m the one who put her here, after all. Who dreamt up everything about this place, if only subconsciously. But I was never supposed to be part of it. Watching on a screen, like a game, was one thing. Face-to-face…that’s another thing entirely.

The last time I was face-to-face with my adoptive mother, I put a knife in her and watched her turn to dust.

Now she stands in the shadows of Kris’ bedroom, wearing a nightgown the same color as her pure white fur, a look of concern on her kind face.

She’s not real, I remind myself. But she looks real. She looks like an angel, pale in the moonlight through the curtains, and the sight of her puts a lump in my throat and unwelcome tears in my eyes. I clench my fist, but I can’t move, can’t turn away from her.

She crouches down on one knee and looks at me. “Kris, are you okay? I heard you shouting, and then there was a crash…did you have a nightmare?”

Did I have a nightmare? Maybe I did. Maybe my whole life up until now has been one long nightmare, and now I’ve finally woken up, and my mother is here and everything’s okay again, the way it should be…

But I can feel Kris’ SOUL pushing at me, at this body that isn’t mine, trying to make me say something, and I know it isn’t so. This isn’t my world. This isn’t my mother.

But god, it even _smells_ like her. Warm fur and cinnamon, just like I remember. How can something artificially-created be so detailed? This isn’t _fair_.

“Kris, what is wrong? You look as though you have seen a ghost!”

I’m working very hard to not betray what I’m feeling, because the sight and sound and scent of her is bringing back so many memories, and I’m not even sure they’re all mine. Some of Kris’ memories are mixed in, their happy memories mingling with my own, an overwhelming mass of warmth and love, punctuated by moments of horror: Toriel’s worried face as she leans over my bed, dabbing at my forehead with a damp washcloth while the self-induced sickness burns me up inside; pain and hate and rage consuming me, screaming as arrows pierce my flesh while Asriel desperately tries to keep control of our shared, transformed body, to stop me from lashing out at the humans, from killing them all; Toriel again, her shocked face uncomprehending, never realizing, in her final moments, that the child that just killed her was her own.

I don’t know what she sees on my face, but she leans in to pull me into a gentle hug, and I stiffen and try not to move, because I know she’ll only grow more concerned if I flinch away from her touch.

Her arms envelop me, and my face is in her fur, buried in the crook of her neck. I can feel Kris relaxing, but I want to scream. Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, I don’t want your embrace, I don’t deserve it, stop trying to make me feel better, I killed you, you should hate me, I _killed you_!

And then I can’t hold it back any longer, and I reach out and hold onto my mother as an enormous sob escapes my throat. She hugs me tighter and I empty all my pain into her shoulder, every bit of agony that I don’t even have the words to name, every lingering splinter of all the horrors I’ve been the victim and the perpetrator of. I cry until the tears blind my sight and I can barely breath, the sobs racking my throat and the shuddering breaths making my chest ache. I cry at everything I’ve become and for everything I could have been.

When I cry myself into exhaustion and the sobs fade into hiccups and sniffles, Toriel strokes my hair and speaks calm, soothing words, and I bury my face in her chest and close my eyes and whisper, “I dreamt that you died.”

She pulls back to look at my face, and she doesn’t recognize me. How could she? I never existed in this Toriel’s life. I never hurt her. When she looks at me, she just sees Kris. But she loves them the way she once loved me, in a different world, and so for a moment I can pretend that it’s me that love is meant for.

“Oh, my child…it was just a bad dream. Everything is alright. I am here now.”

Yes, you are, and no, it’s not.

Toriel stands up and says, “I will make you a nice, hot cup of tea. That will help you to calm down so you can sleep again.”

I just nod, wordlessly, and when she leaves the room, I climb onto Kris’ bed and curl up in a ball. I feel strange. Exhausted, drained, overwhelmed, and maybe, for the first time since I can remember…a little bit lighter. Like a weight has been lifted, one that I was so used to, I could no longer feel it. Or didn’t let myself feel it.

Kris’ voice echoes in my head again. _Who exactly are you, Chara?_

They sound wary and disturbed, and I realize they must have felt some of my own emotions, must have seen some of my memories, just as I saw theirs.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mutter.

I can practically feel Kris biting their mental tongue. After a moment’s silence they simply ask, _Are you okay?_

“Shut up,” I snarl. “Don’t talk to me. You’re not even real.”

_What’s that supposed to mean? Of course I’m real. You should know, you’re the one in my body._

“I told you to shut up.” Now that the moment has passed, I feel embarrassed to have let Kris see me like that. God, it was bad enough with Frisk, let alone having this kid sharing my mind too now. I haven’t had any privacy since I was alive. “You ever mention this again, I’ll tear your SOUL back out and put it in the microwave.”

I sense Kris’ mind flinch a little, and I take a small, grim satisfaction in knowing I can still be scary. But then again, the kid’s kind of a pushover, and I don’t want to push too hard; I’m probably going to need their help before this is over.

I sigh, frustrated, and tell them, “Sorry. I didn’t really mean that.”

Tentatively, they press, _You said my friends were in danger._

“Yeah, they are.” For a minute there, I had forgotten all about Gaster. But Kris is right; this world could collapse around our ears at any moment and here I am having an emotional breakdown. If this world gets destroyed, it’s going to be all my fault. Again. “I don’t know how much time we have.”

 _Then we need to do something._ Pragmatic, brave, probably horribly scared and confused, but already setting aside questions to focus on action; maybe there is a bit of me in Kris, but right now I’m seeing much more of Frisk.

“We can’t do anything stuck at home, and we can’t leave with Mom…with Toriel hanging around.”

I can feel Kris’ curiosity as if it was my own, but they ignore my slip of the tongue for now. _Then we wait until she goes back to bed, and we sneak out._

They sound so serious, like we’re planning a crime, and it almost makes me laugh. “Have you ever even snuck out of the house before?”

A pause. _No. But that just means she won’t be expecting it. And I know how to take the screen out of the window._

“Sounds like a plan, then. Best one we have, anyways.”

I know we’re all in danger, and I know I’m the only one who can stop it, but I don’t see any way of getting out of here any faster, and to be honest, I don’t mind the delay. Right now I don’t feel like getting out of bed, much less saving the world. All I want to do is lie here and pretend that I’m living a different life.

But that life ended a long time ago.

Did I say the weight had been lifted? Spoke too soon. I can still feel it pressing on me, a splinter of guilt stabbing into whatever passes for my SOUL these days. I’m just more aware of it now; guilt had been so baked into me, my whole life, since before I even understood the concept, that I made myself numb to it. I’ve always felt guilty for existing, so I made my existence something deserving of the feeling. People always said I was a psycho.

But in Kris, in their life and their memories, I see myself reflected, like a mirror. I see what I could have been, without all the guilt. Someone normal. Someone worthy of a mother’s love. I understand myself a bit bitter now. And with awareness comes the possibility of change.

I just have to survive first. Fortunately, that’s always been something I’m good at.


	8. Challenging Your God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * It was a LEGEND of HOPE. * It was a LEGEND of DREAMS.  
> * It was a LEGEND of LIGHT. * It was a LEGEND of DARK.
> 
> * ...
> 
> * It can't have all been for nothing. You won't let it.

Thirty minutes later and you’ve slipped out the window and onto the nighttime streets. Or rather, Chara has; you’re still in the passenger seat. Having your body move without your input continues to be an unsettling feeling, but you’ve resigned yourself to putting up with it.

You had to wait until your mother went back to sleep, and in the meantime Chara stayed silent, resisting your attempts to listen in on their thoughts. You still have no idea who Chara really is, or what their connection is to you and your family, but you believe them. You believe they’re telling the truth, that your friends are in danger, and that’s more important than your questions, at least for now.

There’s one question that’s more pressing, though, and you pose it to Chara as they pad quietly through the shadowed streets. _So, what’s the plan?_

“First we need to save the Dark World,” Chara says under their breath. “Gaster plans on destroying it and absorbing the SOULs of everyone there. If we stop him, that’ll throw a wrench in his plan.”

_How do we do that?_

“That fountain of darkness or whatever that you guys shut off? We’re gonna need to turn that back on.”

_What? But shutting off the fountain was supposed to stop the world from being destroyed!_

“Um, yeah, turns out its the other way around. The fountain was holding things together.”

_How do you know all this, anyways? And who exactly is this Gaster?_

“Fewer questions, more saving the world,” Chara snaps. “If we succeed, I can explain it all later. And if we don’t, it won’t matter.”

There’s something they’re keeping from you, something that they don’t want to talk about, but you can tell that pressing them isn’t going to get you anywhere.

Instead, you ask, _Where are we going?_

“That’s obvious, isn’t it? We’re going to your school. Unless you know another way into the Dark World.”

_But school’s closed. It’s the middle of the night!_

Chara rolls your eyes. “Lemme ask you something, Kris. Ever done any crimes?”

_C-crimes?_

“Yeah, you know, illegal shit. Stuff you could get in serious trouble for.”

You think back. You’re pretty sure hiding under Noelle’s bed to scare her when you were kids doesn’t count. There was one time you and Asriel stole some, uh, _mature_ manga from Ms. Alphys’ desk, but you felt so guilty that you eventually gave them back, and she agreed not to rat you out on the condition that you never tell anyone she’d had such things on school property. It was awkward. For everyone.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Chara says, interpreting your silence. “Well, there’s a first time for everything.”

_You’re not seriously going to make me break into my school, are you?_

“Come on, Kris,” Chara says with a slight grin. “The fate of the world is at stake and you’re worried about getting your hands dirty? If you get arrested or something, just tell the cops the person controlling your body made you do it.”

_I can’t tell them that! Oh god, you’re gonna ruin my life._

“Geez, settle down. What are you so afraid of?”

_Have you seen Officer Undyne? She’s, uh…pretty scary.”_

Chara smiles. “I bet I could take her.”

You’re freaking out a little, and starting to wonder just what you’ve gotten yourself into, when you pass an alley and a voice calls out from the shadows, “Kris?”

If you’d been in control of yourself, you would probably have jumped out of your skin. But Chara just stiffens and crouches, like an animal who’s just been startled by a sudden noise, prepared to either fight or flee.

You look toward the source of the voice, and see a tall, familiar shape leaning against the brick wall.

“Calm down, it’s just me,” Susie says. “What are you doing out so late? Don’t you have, like, a curfew or something?”

 _It’s Susie!_ You feel yourself calming down, and Chara relaxes to match. Your fear quickly turns to curiosity, though. Susie’s the only person you’ve seen on the streets thus far tonight; how come she’s not home right now like you should be?

“Me?” Chara answers her. “What are _you_ doing skulking in an alley?”

Susie smiles, showing just a hint of her sharp teeth. “I asked first.”

_Hey, Chara, maybe we could use her help. It sounds like we might have to fight something before this is over, and she’s kind of really good at that._

Chara hesitates for a moment, and then you feel them give the mental equivalent of a shrug. “I’m going to break into the school.”

Susie blinks at you, her devil-may-care demeanor momentarily derailed. “ _You’re_ going to break into the school in the middle of the night? Man, I didn’t think I’d be such a bad influence on you so quickly. What for?”

“Heading back to the Dark World,” Chara makes you say.

Susie takes a step forward. “What, without me?”

“Come along, then.” Chara gestures with your head and turns to walk away. Susie pauses, but only for a moment, and then follows.

_Ask her what she’s doing out here by herself._

But Chara ignores you. Fine, let them and Susie keep their secrets. What does it matter to you? You’re just the vehicle.

You hope Chara can feel your frustration with them.

You walk together in silence for a moment, before Susie asks, “So, what’s so urgent that it can’t wait until after school tomorrow?”

Chara keeps walking, face front, terse and focused. “Gotta save the world.”

“Aw, man, again? I thought we just did that!”

“Nope, still needs saving.”

_What, you’re not going to fill her in on the details? For that matter, I could use some more information myself._

You can sense Chara’s reluctance, bordering on irritation, before they say, “I’ll explain more when we get there.”

“Sure,” Susie replies. She doesn’t argue. She’s willing to go with the flow because she trusts you, after everything you’ve just been through together. But would she trust Chara? There’s no way for you to tell her who she’s really talking to, not if Chara doesn’t want her to know, and it seems they’re finding it easier just to impersonate you.

You kind of resent that. Controlling you is bad enough, but pretending to _be_ you? It makes you feel powerless and violated. You angrily shove the feeling down. The sooner you get this over with, the sooner you can get rid of Chara and get your body back.

A sudden thought washes over you, making you sick with dread. What if you _can’t_ get rid of Chara? What if whatever happened to the two of you is permanent?

You feel Chara’s presence in your mind latching onto your unease, curious. You try to force the thought away before they pick up on it. No point in worrying about that now. You’ll just have to wait and see what happens.

At last, you reach the school. Chara and Susie pause, looking at the building’s dark facade looming above you. You’ve never come here at night before, when there’s no one else around. It looks distinctly uninviting.

“So, Susie,” Chara says briskly, turning to face her. “If you were going to break into this building, how would you do it?”

Susie folds her arms across her chest. “Uh, why are you asking _me_?”

“Well, you’re the resident delinquent. You probably do shit like this all the time.”

Something flashes in Susie’s eyes, but Chara either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. You feel suddenly very annoyed with them.

_Don’t talk to her like that. You’ll make her mad._

You know Chara can hear you, but they pretend like they didn’t.

“No, no, Kris,” Susie says. “This was your plan. I want to see how _you_ would do it.”

Chara shrugs your shoulders. “Fine.”

 

One large rock, a broken window, and a rather impressed Susie later, and for the second time in 24 hours, you find yourself standing in front of the door to what looks, on the outside, like a supply closet.

“Are you sure this is going to work a second time?” Susie asks.

“It’ll work.”

“Well, if you’re sure…I guess there’s only one way to find out, huh?” Susie slaps you on the back and opens the door. There’s no light beyond it; nothing but impenetrable shadows. “See you on the other side, Kris.”

Chara pauses for a moment and takes a deep breath. Then, together, you walk into the dark.

 

********

With a groan, Chara picks you up off the ground. You look down at yourself – just as before, your clothes have changed to armor, and your skin looks oddly blue in the dim light.

Susie staggers to her feet beside you, rubbing her neck. “There’s _got_ to be an easier way to get to this place. One that doesn’t involve falling.”

“We’re here, that’s all that matters,” Chara says briskly. “Let’s find Ralsei.”

The two of you set off, Chara leading the way. It feels odd to be back in this place again so soon; mere hours ago you were trying to convince yourself that you hadn’t imagined it, and now here you are again, with a hijacked body and a potential apocalypse to avert. It’s been a weird day. If you get through this in one piece, you’re going to spend the whole weekend in bed.

You move through the Dark World more quickly and confidently than before; no one blocks your way. The Darkners know you now, and those you pass wave at you excitedly. Nor do you have to travel far. The teleportation doors are still active.

Ralsei, as you suspect, is right where you left him: hanging out with Lancer at the castle. You hear them before you see them, as you approach the throne room.

“And that’s why, by royal decree, I declare that royal princes must be served ice cream for every meal!”

“Lancer, you’ll get fat. I mean…”

“Oh ho ho! Do I look like I care?”

Susie snorts in amusement by your side, and the sounds of your friends’ voices are already making you feel more at ease. But Chara’s impatience is humming through your mind like an electric current. They stride forward and push open the door to the throne room.

“Ralsei! Lancer! I need to talk to you!”

Ralsei’s head swivels in your direction so fast that his hat almost falls off. “Kris? Susie?” He bounds over to you in excitement, Lancer sprinting behind him on short stubby legs, and almost knocks you over with a hug.

You don’t need a mental bond to sense Chara’s discomfort. They stand frozen, seemingly unsure what to do with their hands, as Ralsei hugs them. “Uh, hi,” they say awkwardly. You’re guessing that Chara, in whatever form they had before possessing you, wasn’t much of a hugger.

Lancer is literally jumping up and down in front of Susie. “You came back! You came back! You – wait, how come you’re back already?”

“Hey, yeah, Kris,” Ralsei says, detaching himself from you and tilting his head to one side. “You only just left. I mean, I’m glad to see you, but, uh, what’s going on?”

“Apparently the world needs more saving,” Susie shrugs.

Ralsei looks confused. “But – but that can’t be right! You sealed the fountain, just like in the prophecy. Everything should be fine now.”

“It’s not,” Chara interrupts. “Not at all. Ralsei, how do we turn the fountain back on?”

“Turn it…back on? B-but Kris, why would we do that?”

Before Chara can answer, a tremendous rumble resounds throughout the room. The floor shakes beneath your feet, as though the castle itself was vibrating.

“What’s that!” Lancer yelps.

You stagger and lose your balance, and Ralsei grabs you, holding onto your arm for support. “It’s an earthquake!”

Chara tries to keep you on your feet, but the ground is rocking back and forth, and the rumbling is so loud. You fall backwards, dragging Ralsei down with you. Dust and bits of stone fall from the ceiling, and cracks form along the castle walls. As you land on your back, you see a chuck of rock come loose from the ceiling and begin to fall – right above where Lancer is standing.

“Lancer!” you shout in alarm.

Susie leaps forward, scooping up Lancer in her arms and rolling out of the way just as the stone strikes the ground.

And then the shaking stops, as suddenly as it began, and you know, instinctively, that the quake was just a hint of things to come.

You don’t even realize until it’s over that it was you, not Chara, who made your voice cry out in warning.

“Purple girl!” Lancer shouts, hugging Susie. “You saved me!”

Beside you, Ralsei staggers to his feet, swaying a little. “Is everyone okay?!”

“Yeah, Ralsei,” Susie says. “We’re alright.”

Ralsei looks more stressed than you’ve ever seen him. “I don’t understand…I’ve never experienced an earthquake here before!”

“It’s starting,” Chara whispers.

Everyone turns to look at you. Tentatively, Ralsei asks, “What-what’s starting, Kris?”

“We need to turn that fountain back on, right now.”

“But Kris…” Ralsei squeaks. “I don’t know how.”

“Then figure it out, damn it!” Chara’s shout is so frustrated, so uncharacteristically loud coming from your lips, that everyone, even Susie, flinches a bit. “There’s no time! The balance of light and dark, Ralsei, it’s been tampered with. Someone is trying to destroy your world.”

“W-who?” Lancer says. He sounds scared. “Who would do that?”

The voice booms out from behind you, without warning, sounding like the echo of a knife sliding across bone.

“I BELIEVE I CAN ANSWER THAT QUESTION.”


	9. The Proof of My Existence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * So. Now they know.  
> * No more secrets.  
> * Coming clean...telling them what they really are...  
> * It fills you with shame.

“Gaster!”

I spin to face him, Kris’ sword in my hand. I already know I can’t kill him, but maybe I can slow him down, buy the others time…

“Kris, who is that?!” Ralsei says. Beside me, Susie silently draws her ax.

Gaster is somehow taller than he was in his lab; he towers over all of us, hunchbacked and formless, the fingers of his hands knitted beneath his chin. “HELLO, CHARA. I MUST ADMIT, I WAS NOT PLANNING TO SEE YOU AGAIN. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WOULD ONLY FIND A WAY TO CAUSE ME MORE TROUBLE IN HERE. A RARE MISCALCULATION ON MY PART.”

Before I can reply, Lancer steps forward, grinning like the little idiot he is. “Excuse me, Mr. Terrifying Ghost Man?”

“Lancer, stay back!” Susie hisses, but he ignores her.

“I’m not sure who you are. You’re very scary, and I respect that. But my friends and I…we’re scarier than you. And you’re trespassing on royal property. So if you don’t explain yourself immediately, I’m afraid we’re going to have to thrash you!”

Gaster fixes Lancer with a horrible smile. “YOU HAVE SPIRIT, TINY DARK ONE. YOURS WILL BE THE FIRST SOUL I ABSORB UPON THE DEATH OF YOUR WORLD.”

I can sense Kris’ fear fogging the edges of my mind, but I ignore it and fill my voice with unearned confidence. “I won’t let you hurt anyone, Gaster.”

“LET ME?” Gaster chuckles, and the sound is like shoving needles in my ears. “HOW AMUSING. IT’S OVER, CHARA. YOU CANNOT STOP ME.”

“Do you know this guy, Kris?” Ralsei asks. “Why does he keep calling you Chara?”

I clench my fist even tighter around the hilt of the sword as Gaster’s smile widens.

“YOU HAVEN’T TOLD THEM, HAVE YOU? OH, THIS IS RICH.”

Susie shoots me a confused glance. “Haven’t told us what, Kris? What does he mean?”

“THAT’S NOT YOUR KRIS ANYMORE. I’M AFRAID YOU HAVE ALL BEEN MISLED.”

“What do you mean, not Kris?” Susie says. She looks at me, suspicious. “If you’re not Kris, then who are you?”

I fish for the words to explain, but come up short. “Susie, I…”

She takes a step closer. “You’ve been acting really weird tonight…”

“Susie, I can explain.”

“Okay.” She grabs me by the neck and lifts me off my feet. “Start talking.”

“Susie, stop!” Ralsei and Lancer both shout in unison. I drop my sword and struggle to break her grip, twisting and kicking.

“Let…go of me!” I snarl. My fist lashes out instinctively. She drops me and staggers backward with a yell, a hand over her eye.

 _Oh no._ Kris’ voice in my head is shocked and frightened. _Chara, what have you done?_

“What do you mean, what have _I_ done?” I snap out loud, forgetting myself in the tension of the moment. “She’s the one who attacked us!”

“Kris…” Ralsei says. He sounds scared. “Who are you talking to?”

“Heh.” Susie straightens up, teeth exposed in a nasty grimace. Her eyelid is already starting to swell up. “You’re really not Kris, are you? Kris wouldn’t have fought back like that.” She raises her ax and points it at me. “Who are you, and where’s the real Kris?!”

I glance from her to Gaster, who is standing back and watching with a look of amusement on his face. Damn it…we should be fighting him, not me. But I’m not being given much choice in the matter here, am I?

“Okay,” I say, backing up and raising my hands in a conciliatory gesture. “It’s true, I’m not Kris. My name is Chara.”

“Nice to meet you, Chara,” Susie says threateningly. “What have you done with Kris?”

“They’re still in here,” I say, pointing to my head. “They just can’t talk to you. I’m…I’m kind of controlling them.”

“Then get out of their head. Right now.”

I shake my head. “It’s not that easy. I didn’t choose to be here. He’s the one who did this!” I point accusingly at Gaster. “He’s been playing games with all of us! He forced my SOUL into Kris’ body!”

“JUST YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS, CHARA, NOT YOUR SOUL,” Gaster interjects. “YOU DON’T HAVE ONE ANYMORE, REMEMBER? YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A PARASITE, A STUBBORN GHOST THAT REFUSES TO DIE. BUT COME, AREN’T YOU GOING TO TELL THEM THE MOST IMPORTANT PART? DON’T YOU THINK THE GIRL AND THE VESSEL YOU’RE WEARING DESERVE TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU? ABOUT THEMSELVES?”

_What truth, Chara? What does he mean?_

Don’t do it, Gaster, damn you. Don’t make me tell them. They don’t need to know.

“What’s he talking about?” Susie growls.

_Tell me, Chara! Tell me the truth already!_

Voices within and without, all screaming at me. Kris’ confusion and fear, crashing against my mind like ocean waves. It’s overwhelming; I can’t think straight.

I want to scream. I bend over, hands clutching the sides of my head, fingers digging into Kris’ hair. “Shut up! Shut up, all of you!”

Gaster chuckles again. “NOT SO EASY, IS IT, WHEN YOUR CREATIONS GET OUT OF CONTROL? LET THIS BE A LESSON, CHARA – CREATING LIFE CARRIES JUST AS MANY CONSEQUENCES AS TAKING IT.”

Susie looks confused. “What do you mean, creating life?”

_Chara…when you said, earlier, that I wasn’t real…_

“I made you,” I whisper. Raising my voice, I say, “You, too, Susie. You and Kris…your whole world. I…me and Gaster…we made you up. It’s a virtual world. An experiment. Ones and zeroes held together by determination. It’s not real. You’re not real.”

There are tears forming in my eyes, which is stupid. I don’t know why I’m crying. But then I realize they aren’t my tears. Kris is in my head; they know I’m telling the truth. The awful, monumental truth.

But the others aren’t buying it.

“Kris – I mean, Chara,” Ralsei stutters. “That can’t be true. How can we be made up? I mean, I lived a whole life before I even met you.”

I shake my head, avoiding his eyes. “Not you, Ralsei. It’s Kris’ world that’s just a simulation, not yours. But Gaster wants to destroy them both! He tricked me. I never wanted things to turn out like this, you have to believe me.”

“Bull,” Susie snarls. “I know that I’m real. And whatever you are, you’re crazy.”

“IT’S TRUE, CHILD,” Gaster says calmly. “YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ARE NOTHING BUT A FIGMENT OF CHARA’S IMAGINATION, GIVEN FORM BY A PROGRAM OF MY DESIGN. WITHOUT US, YOU WOULDN’T EVEN EXIST.”

Susie stares at him, and the look in her eyes is indescribable. “Oh yeah? Well, if I wasn’t real, could I do _this_?”

Before anyone can stop her, she charges at Gaster, ax held high, and cleaves his head from his shoulders with a ferocious slash. His body collapses, already turning to dust.

“Heh. Real enough for you?”

“Su-Susie!” Ralsei cries, horrified. “You killed him!”

“No,” I say softly, shaking my head. “She didn’t.”

“WELL,” Gaster says, materializing behind us. “NOW THAT YOU’VE GOTTEN THAT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM…”

Susie whirls around, bristling with rage and disbelief. “What?! Don’t you know how to die?!”

“I COULD NEVER GET THE HANG OF IT,” Gaster says dryly.

“It’s pointless, Susie,” I tell her. “He can’t be killed.”

“You!” She rounds on me, anger flashing in her eyes. “If you weren’t in my friend’s body, I would bash your head in.”

“Look, I know you’re upset, but I’m not –”

“Shut up! You say you created me and my world somehow? I don’t believe you, but if it’s true, you have a lot to answer for! I mean, what are you, some kind of sadist?”

“Susie, I don’t –”

“You’re, what, dreaming up people like you were writing a script, and when you get to me, you could have given me any life imaginable, but no, you think, ‘Hey, I know what would be cool for this one,’ and you…you…” Her voice cuts off, killed by a strangled, choking emotion.

And it’s true. It’s not my fault, not exactly, but Susie’s life is my responsibility. She’s mistaken if she thinks I chose the details deliberately; Gaster’s machine pulled things out of my subconscious to populate the simulation. But I think I can guess which parts of my mind it drew from when ‘writing’ Susie, and they weren’t very happy ones. I don’t know her story, not really, but I know the pain in her eyes. It’s a pain baked in deep, born of circumstance and shame. A pain that I swore, when I landed on the Dreemurrs’ doorstep, I would never let myself feel again.

I don’t know why I ever thought I could be a god of my own world. A damaged god could only ever make broken things.

Kris hasn’t said a word since I sprung that little revelation on them. Have I scared them into silence, like I did Frisk? _I’m sorry_ , I whisper to them, but they don’t respond. My apologies are meaningless. I have nothing to offer anyone but pain.

“AS FASCINATING AS THIS HAS BEEN,” Gaster says, “I’LL BE NEEDING CHARA BACK NOW. IT’S BECOME CLEAR I CAN’T LEAVE THEM UNSUPERVISED. AS FOR THE REST OF YOU – ENJOY WHAT LITTLE IS LEFT OF YOUR EXISTENCE.”

He disappears, and a minute later, the sensation hits me: A tugging, rough and forceful, like I’m being pulled loose from my body. I let out an unbidden scream.

“Kris!” I hear the shout – Ralsei, I think, or maybe someone else, I can’t tell, because I am being ripped away from my senses, everything turning to silent darkness.

The last thing I feel, before that darkness claims my mind, is Kris’ consciousness reaching out for me like a hand, trying to hold on, and I don’t understand why.

Why would anyone want to help a thing like me?


	10. Run the Execution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * The whole world is ending.

“Chara!”

But by the time the shout escapes your mouth, they’re already gone. And it is your mouth again, and your will moving it. Your own voice, your own choices. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it? To be in control of yourself again?

Except, from the sound of it, you may have never been in control. You hadn’t realized how deeply you had retreated until Chara’s removal pulled your mind back to the present moment; you’d been too busy trying to process what you’d just learned. They really believed it, what they said about creating you…so either they’re insane, or else it’s true. And if it’s true…

You. Susie. Your mother and father. Your brother. Your school, your classmates, your town, your world. False. All of it a lie. But a perfect lie. Flawless. You would never have known, had you not been told. And if a fake world is functionally identical to a real one, what does its origin really matter?

You don’t know the answer. You don’t even know what you are anymore. But your mind is your own again, and your troubled thoughts sting you with a very real pain, and for now, that will have to be all the proof of your reality that you need.

Because right now, you have to be a hero.

You hear your friends’ nervous voices behind you, their whispered questions blurring together. “What happened? Is that still Chara or is it Kris? Are they okay?”

You turn to face them. “It’s me, guys. It’s Kris. I’m back.”

“Kris!” Ralsei lunges forward and hugs you, and this time you can hug him back properly, so he knows it’s really you. “We were so worried about you!”

“I’m okay, Ralsei. Really.” You look to Susie. “You alright?”

“Having the time of my life,” Susie snorts, but then she pauses and adds, “I’m glad you’re not hurt, Kris.”

“Thanks. Sorry about the punch.”

“S’all good. Sorry about choking you.”

You rub your neck. It’s a little bruised, but you’ll live. “It’s fine.”

Just then, another rumble shakes the room, striking suddenly and without warning.

“Earthquake!” Ralsei yelps, as Susie covers Lancer with her body.

The walls rattle and the floor shakes, but just as before, it passes after a moment. And just as before, you know that it was just a herald of a bigger quake to come.

“Guys, listen! We need to stop this! We need to turn the fountain back on.”

“The fountain?” Susie scoffs. “Kris, you really think it’s a good idea to do what that crazy person possessing you said?”

“Yes, I do. Because they weren’t crazy.”

Susie narrows her eyes suspiciously. “How do you know?”

“I shared my mind with theirs. I could tell what they were feeling. Susie, they weren’t lying. They were being sincere.”

Susie looks away sharply, as if you’d just slapped her. “No. It was a trick. Has to be.”

“There’s no time to argue! Those earthquakes are only going to get worse, and who knows what Gaster’s about to do? We need to get that fountain back on, or this place is going to tear itself apart.”

“But Kris,” Ralsei says. “I don’t know if that’s possible. The fountain was made of darkness, the very substance of this world, and you stopped its flow. We can’t just flip a switch and turn it on again.”

You chew your lip, thinking fast. “When I stopped the fountain, it felt like…like my SOUL was interacting with it somehow. If it took a human SOUL to stop it, maybe a powerful enough Darkner SOUL could start it again?”

“Um, I maybe have an idea?” Lancer pipes up. You all turn to look at him. “But it might be dangerous, and, uh, you might not like it.”

“Well, we’re a little short on options right now, Lancer,” you say. “So let’s hear it.”

“Okay, um, well…you remember my dad, right?”

 

********

“Ugh…”

If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was dead. But I’ve died before, and it didn’t feel like this. It didn’t feel like much of anything, and this is…something, at least. This feels more like a rebirth; sudden, disorienting, traumatic. Familiar. Is this a memory? Have I been here before?

And then the room comes into focus, as my consciousness settles into place, and I know where I am and why I’m getting such a strong sense of déjà vu.

Gaster’s pale face looms out at me from the shadows of the lab. “WELCOME BACK TO THE LAND OF THE…WELL, WHATEVER YOU ARE. I PROMISE IT WILL ONLY BE A SHORT STAY THIS TIME.”

I’m back where I started, back in Frisk’s body, and I’m still restrained to Gaster’s goddamn chair. Helpless. Alone.

Except…wait. I feel something – someone – stirring within me. Maybe I’m not as alone as I thought.

_Chara? Is that you?_

_Frisk!_ I’m almost surprised by how glad I am to see them. I reach out to them with my thoughts, so that Gaster can’t overhear. _Thank god, you’re okay!_

I can feel their trepidation, and I realize with a pang of guilt that they’re still scared of me – but their confusion is taking priority over their fear, and at the moment I’m the only familiar thing present to turn to.

_Ch-Chara, I don’t know what’s going on. I was – I was hiding, and then you left, and I found myself here, and now you’re back, and…”_

_Shhh, it’s okay, Frisk, I’m not going to hurt you, or make you do anything you don’t want to do._ I glance at Gaster. _But he might._

_W-who is he?_

I open my mind to Frisk and let them experience my memories, quickly filling them in on everything that’s happened since Gaster first reached out to me. For a while, they’re silent, and then they just say, _What do we do now?_

I try to push down my fear, to let Frisk think I have things under control, but I don’t have a solution for them. _I don’t know, Frisk. I’m not sure I can get us out of this one._

Frisk retreats back into my mind, just a little, with a frightened mental whimper.

“EVERYTHING LOOKS TO BE IN ORDER,” Gaster announces contentedly from his computer console. “THE DARK WORLD SHOULD TEAR ITSELF APART ANY MINUTE NOW, AND WHEN IT DOES, MY INSTRUMENTS ARE AT THE READY TO ABSORB THE DYING DARKNERS’ SOULS AND CHANNEL YOUR DETERMINATION THROUGH THEM. THEY WILL PROBABLY ALL BE DESTROYED IN THE PROCESS, OF COURSE, BUT NOT BEFORE I AM ABLE TO –”

He cuts off abruptly, which immediately catches my attention. I’ve never known this guy to stop talking. Something’s up.

“THE BALANCE, IT’S…STABALIZING? NO, NO, THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT. IT SHOULD BE GETTING WORSE, NOT BETTER. I NEED TO SEE WHAT’S GOING ON DOWN THERE.”

The viewscreen in front of my chair flickers on, and I almost gasp. The fountain is flowing once more, and standing in front of it are Kris, Susie, Ralsei and Lancer and…the King? Lancer’s father is pouring his SOUL’s energy into the fountain, causing the geyser of darkness to shoot up into the sky again. I don’t know how they convinced him to help them, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that they did it, even without me there to help. Which means maybe I have a shot after all.

“What’s wrong, evil plan not working out the way you hoped?” I taunt.

“NOT EXACTLY,” Gaster replies, with no small measure of irritation. “BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE CAUSE TO CELEBRATE, CHARA. I’VE COME TOO FAR TO GIVE UP NOW. I’LL JUST HAVE TO HOPE THAT YOUR VESSEL’S SOUL ALONE CAN CHANNEL ENOUGH DETERMINATION TO GET THE JOB DONE BEFORE BURNING ITSELF OUT.”

I don’t like the sound of that, and neither does Frisk; I can feel their fear welling up inside me. Poor Frisk. Maybe this is a fitting end for me, but they’ve done nothing to deserve this. I suddenly find myself unbearably angry, filled with rage at Gaster for doing this, for making Frisk – me – _us_ feel this way.

“Screw you,” I spit at Gaster. “You think you’re doing the right thing? Mr. High-and-Mighty Scientist, using other people like they’re nothing? Like you’re all that matters? Like you’re the only person in the world who’s ever lost something? Who’s ever been hurt? You think you’re making up for what’s been done to you, but you’re just doing more harm than good! You think your actions are justified, that your anger is righteous, but you’re wrong! You’re just a selfish killer!”

Gaster fixes me with a perceptive stare, and then his mouth crooks up in a smirk. “SO CLOSE TO SELF-AWARENESS…I WONDER IF IT’S REALLY ME THAT YOU’RE ANGRY AT, CHARA? I SUPPOSE WE’LL NEVER KNOW.”

He presses a button on the keyboard, and I begin to die.

The pain rushes over me, drowning me. Determination courses through Frisk’s body like fire in their veins; I’ve felt it before, but never like this. This is too much, too fast; more than I can handle, more than I can control. Frisk is crying in my mind, and I’m screaming in reality, long and sharp and toneless. I scream and scream as the SOUL Frisk shares with me starts to crack.

I don’t want to die. I’ve cheated death so many times. If only I could have one more chance…

And then I see it. Faint at first, just a twinkle, a little gleam of light catching my eye. But then it grows and grows, getting brighter and brighter. A SAVE point. But how could there be one here? Did I…we…somehow create it?

Never mind that now. If I can SAVE, I can stay alive. I reach out for it, but it’s just outside my grasp, just beyond my fingertips. Come on, come o _n_ …

I strain my arm toward salvation as Frisk’s SOUL trembles and splinters. This is it, I’ve failed, I was so close. Any second now, our SOUL is going to split in two, and it will all be over.

…

…

…

…

…

But it refuses. _I_ refuse, I won’t let Frisk die here, I won’t let it end like this. And suddenly I know how this SAVE point sprang up from thin air, and in the triumph of that realization, I strain further than I thought possible, and I grasp it in my hand and the light flares up and consumes me.

I die, for an instant, with a smile on my lips.

And then I’m back, and alive, and overflowing with determination.

Gaster’s instruments must have detected the change, because he looks at me with an expression of shock. “WHAT?! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?”

“You can’t kill us, Doctor,” I tell him, grinning. “And I won’t be used, by you or anyone else.”

“THIS ISN’T POSSIBLE. ONE SOUL SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO CONTROL THAT MUCH DETERMINATION.”

“One SOUL, maybe not. But with some help? You said I didn’t have a soul anymore, Doctor, that I was just an empty, dead thing. And for a long time, I believed that, too. But do you know what? I think you’re wrong. I think there’s more of me left than I thought. Maybe not a whole, normal SOUL…but enough.”

I feel practically abuzz with energy, with confidence, with determination. If I could see myself, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I was glowing. And I can tell that Frisk feels it too; their mind is right beside me, their SOUL working in tandem with what remains of mine, bearing a load together that neither of us could have borne alone.

The chair sparks and smokes, overheating. The restraints slide off my wrists and ankles, retracting back into the machine. I tear the helmet off my head and hop down to the ground.

I watch Gaster realize his mistake, and I think, _So. Now you know what it feels like to be at someone else’s mercy._

And I almost don’t show him any – mercy, that is. Part of me want to destroy him, to lash out again and again, no matter how many times it takes, no matter how futile it may be. To throw myself into an endless cycle of battle, just like with his son before him.

But then Frisk’s voice rises up through the storm of my rage like a gentle hand on my shoulder, saying, _There’s a better way._

I look deep inside myself, and I find mercy there. Most of it is Frisk’s, yes, but not all. Some of it…some of it is mine.

Together, Frisk and I do something we’ve never done before. We stop time.

One second, sound. The next, silence. One second, motion. The next, stillness. It’s not a RESET – it’s more like the pause right before one. Gaster is frozen, a look of fear still fixed on his face. The smoke and sparks emitting from the chair hang motionless in the air. Everything is calm, like we’ve breached the eye of a hurricane.

“Can you keep it this way?” I ask Frisk.

_I think so. I think I’m getting the hang of it. Keep helping, though._

“Of course.” It’s a strain, but I’m getting the hang of it, too. Like running when you’re out of breath. Pushing through the pain, until it becomes something you can manage, something you can function in spite of.

I look at Gaster. We can’t hold him like this forever. “What are we going to do with him? He may have failed, but he’s still dangerous. If we let him go, he’ll just come back, think up some other scheme, keep trying.”

_Maybe we can convince him not to hurt anyone?_

I shake my head. “I don’t think that’s going to work this time, Frisk.”

Something catches my eye: motion, where there shouldn’t be any. I turn to look at the monitor and see that it still shows the Dark World. Kris and the others are still moving. Time is still flowing for them.

 _I guess it only works here?_ Frisk says.

“Well, it is a different world. No connection to where we are now.”

_And where are we?_

“Somewhere where the normal rules don’t apply.”

Frisk is quiet for a moment, and then, _I want to go home._

“Yeah,” I sigh. “I want that too.”

_No you don’t! Or you wouldn’t have destroyed it all!_

The sudden shock of their accusation almost makes me recoil, even though it’s coming from within me. “Frisk, I –”

_I know what you did, Chara! I didn’t forget!_

“Look, I made a mistake, okay? I’m sorry.”

_Sorry’s not good enough!_

I force myself to remain calm, to be apologetic but firm, to take a step back from the part of me that bristles with anger at any reproach. “You’re right, Frisk. I regret it now, and if I could take it all back, I –”

I stop mid-sentence, a sudden idea snapping into place in my mind. If I could take it all back…and why not? Why not give Gaster what he wanted?

Frisk catches wind of my thoughts almost as quickly as they come to me. _Would that…would that work?_

“I don’t know,” I breath. Just the possibility is making my mind race. “It’s further back than we’ve ever gone before. Way further.”

_But we have no SAVE point from back then!_

“We can make one.” I’m feeling almost giddy now, excitement taking hold of me. “You saw what we did just now! That SAVE point didn’t exist until we wished for it. We’re more powerful than we’ve ever been. I bet if we focused hard enough, we could make an anchor at a specific point in the timeline, and then…Frisk, we could fix everything! We could solve all our problems before they even happen!”

_But what about them?_

“Huh?” Frisk nudges my attention back to the screen, and I understand. My heart sinks in my stomach.

Because I had forgotten about the simulation. Kris, Susie…if we change the timeline, I’ll never create them. Their lives will never have happened. But this might be my only chance to make things right, to restore my own world, to undo my mistakes…

“Fuck,” I state blankly, and then, louder, “FUCK!” Why can’t it be easy? Why can’t I just do something right for once?

Frisk, as ever, rides out of the storm of my emotions. But when they speak again, they sound almost…impressed. _Chara…you’ve changed._

I laugh bitterly. “Have I? I’m still a fuck-up. Still can’t do the right thing.”

_But you want to. You’re trying._

“Fat lot of good it does! I can’t even fix the world I broke without destroying the one I made! How ironic is that?”

 _Chara…_ Frisk says softly. _Sometimes you make a mistake and you can’t make it better._

“What are you saying? That I shouldn’t have made Kris’ world, that I have to take responsibility and clean up my mess?”

_You can’t always save everyone, Chara._

I let out a sarcastic bark of a laugh. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this from you, of all people. I thought saving everyone was your whole thing.”

_Maybe we’ve both taught each other some things._

“You don’t understand. Kris…they’re a person! I shared their head! They’re just as real as you are! How am I supposed to just turn my back on them and let them die?”

_It wouldn’t be like dying. If we change the timeline, they’ll never have been made in the first place._

“How is that any better?”

_Chara…you realize that if we do this, it won’t just be them._

“…Yeah.” It’ll be me, too. And Frisk. We’ll both turn out different, which means the Chara and Frisk that exist now…will end. It’s a time paradox. If we go back and change something, everything from that point on changes to match. Including us. Time correcting itself.

_And you’re willing to make that sacrifice yourself, but you don’t want it to happen to someone else?_

“Kris and Susie didn’t ask for this! They didn’t choose it. It’s not fair.”

_…You really have changed._

I guess I have. But god damn it, Frisk is right. I made this mess, and I have one chance to clean it up. It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s the only one I have.

I look at Kris and Susie on the monitor, still moving and living and existing in the Dark World, while all around me, time stands still.

Somewhere where the normal rules don’t apply…

“That’s it!” I shout, startling Frisk.

_What’s it?_

“I know how to save them.” Kind of. It’s still not a perfect solution, but it’s a better one. “Frisk, do you think we can unfreeze time for everything in this room except Gaster?”

_I don’t know. We can try._

So we do. I focus and strain, Frisk’s SOUL backing me up, visualizing the stasis field shrinking, until it just encapsulates Gaster and nothing else. It’s not so different from making a SAVE file, which is a kind of snapshot of time. All we’re doing is that, but isolated to a specific point. SAVING one thing, and holding that snapshot in place, but letting everything else continue on as normal. Probably would never have been possible with a normal amount of determination, or with Frisk and I fighting each other for control. But now it’s a whole new ballgame. Thank you, Dr. Gaster.

“Okay,” I say once we’ve finished. “You should be able to maintain that on your own for a short time.”

_On my own? What about you?_

I look from the chair to the monitor. “I need to make a quick stop before we go. I owe someone an explanation.”


	11. If I Approach Infinity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * It seems saving everyone really is impossible.

It’s a smoother landing the second time, fortunately, because this time I’m not fighting it. I don’t shove Kris’ SOUL out of their body. I just slip right in next to them.

They shudder and go limp as I take control. _Chara! You’re back!_

_Oh good, it worked. I wasn’t entirely sure I knew how to do this on my own. Listen, Kris, I don’t have a lot of time. I need to talk to you and Susie._

I quickly take stock of the situation. Everyone is still crowded around the fountain. Lancer’s dad is lying down on the ground, breathing shallowly; I guess restarting the fountain took a lot out of him. Lancer is watching over him as he rests, and Susie and Ralsei are keeping a wary eye on them.

I approach Susie. “Hey, can I talk to you alone for a moment?”

She raises a curious eyebrow, but shrugs and says, “Sure. Be right back, Ralsei.”

We walk over to a spot a short distance away, where we have some privacy. “What’s up?” Susie asks.

“Okay, so…first of all, this is Chara again, not Kris. Please don’t attack me this time.”

Susie narrows her eyes angrily. “You better have a good reason for taking over my friend like this again.”

“It’s just temporary. The machine was pretty banged up, and I don’t want to risk getting stuck here if it breaks, so I’m gonna make this quick. But I need to tell you and Kris something.”

“Okay, talk.”

_What is it, Chara?_

“I managed to stop Gaster, at least for now. Good job with the fountain, by the way.”

_Thanks. The King didn’t like helping us after we kinda usurped his throne and all, but I mean, the world was at stake, so…_

“That’s not the point, though. The point is that we still have a problem. Because Gaster is still a threat, and if we don’t do something about him, he’ll just try again.”

“I assume you have an idea about that?” Susie says.

“I do, but, uh…okay, I have this power, it’s hard to explain, but it lets me go back in time and, uh, RESET timelines. Like a do-over. I could go back and change things so that Gaster never becomes a threat in the first place.”

“Great, then what are you waiting for? What’s the catch?”

“It’s a big catch.” Here it comes. I have no idea how to say this, so I just go for it. “You know how I said I created you guys and your world? Well, if I change history, that will never happen. The timeline will change, and it will be like…like your world never existed.”

_What?! Chara, you can’t be serious!_

“Wait, Kris, let me finish! There’s a way to save you – the two of you, anyways. This world – the Dark World – it’s a separate reality from the world Gaster and I are from. It’s not part of the same timeline. Which means as long as you two are here, the changes I make won’t affect you. Time would normally correct itself, but here, the paradox can’t catch up to you. Your existence, your memories, even…it should all remain intact. I think.” My voice drops a little, and I look at the ground as I finish, “I mean…you won’t be able to go home. But you’ll survive.”

I was expecting Susie to be bothered by this, but if she is, she doesn’t show it. She just shrugs and says, “Fine by me. Got nothing I want to go back to anyways.”

But Kris…I can sense what Kris is feeling: pure horror.

_You would destroy my world? All those people?!_

“Look, I don’t like it either, but you don’t understand. My world was already destroyed. I was the only survivor, but now I have the chance to bring it all back. To save everyone. I’m sorry about your world, but I have a responsibility to try and save mine. I can’t turn my back on that.”

I don’t mention that the sins I’m trying to correct are my own. I tell myself that the reason for my omission is purely logical, that sharing that information would only make this conversation more difficult than it has to be, but that’s not why. Really, I just don’t want Kris to think of me as a killer. There was a time when I welcomed being feared, when it made me feel strong to terrify others, but now, I don’t think I could bear it. Not from them.

_But my family, Chara! My parents, my brother! You can’t just wipe them all away!_

“There’s no other way, Kris. I can’t maintain your simulated world on my own. It was Gaster’s inventions that created it, and I don’t know how they all work. It was hard enough figuring out how to put myself back in your head for a while to have this conversation.”

_Then stay here! Stay here with me, you can even have control, I don’t care. Just don’t hurt my family._

I shake Kris’ head sadly. “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. There’s another kid whose body I was inhabiting, like you, back in Gaster’s lab. If I stay here, what happens to them? They have nowhere to go, unless I restore my world that got erased. Besides, Gaster is still out there. If I don’t deal with him, he’ll probably end up destroying your world himself anyways.”

_Bring them all here, then! We can bring everyone into the Dark World, they can all be spared!_

I had thought of that, but it wouldn’t work. “Listen…what I have to do, it will take an enormous amount of power. It’s not an unlimited resource, and right now I’m draining determination just keeping Gaster at bay. If I wait much longer, I might not be able to pull this off. It’s now or never. I’m sorry, I truly am.”

Kris doesn’t say anything, but they begin to sob, crying inside my head. Their body reacts to match their emotions, and I wipe the tears away from my eyes and say, “I wish it could be different, Kris, but this is the best option I have. You’ll survive, you can live here with your friends and –”

_Fuck you, Chara! I hope you don’t get your world back. You don’t deserve it. In fact, I hope you die!_

“I already have, buddy.” This is awful, and nothing I can say is going to make it better. I should probably just go. “I’ll leave you alone now.”

_Good. I never want to see you again. You’re horrible._

“I know. But for what it’s worth, Kris, I’m better for having met you.”

“I think you’d better get out of their head now,” Susie growls.

I turn and raise my arm in the air, signaling to Frisk, who I know is watching on the monitor. A moment later, I feel that tugging sensation again, and I slip quietly out of the body of the person I made, leaving them wounded and hurting. My last act of LOVE.

 

********

 

As soon as I land back in Frisk’s body, I tear off the helmet and fold in on myself, covering my face with my hands and taking deep, shuddering breaths, trying to hold back the emotions threatening to overpower me.

Frisk senses my distress. _Are you okay?_

“No. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” I look at the screen and immediately regret it when I see Susie holding Kris as their body shakes with silent sobs, while Ralsei and Lancer look on in concern.

“Do you think they’ll be okay?” I ask Frisk.

_…I think they’ll adjust, and keep going. Sometimes that’s all you can do._

“They hate me,” I say bitterly.

_You did the best thing for them that you could have._

“God, I hope so.” I look at Gaster, still standing frozen in front of his console. “We’re not done yet, though.”

 _Whenever you’re ready,_ Frisk says gently.

I close my eyes and turn my thoughts inward, getting back in touch with the reserve of determination inside me. I hope I'll have enough for what comes next. It's amazing, really...to think of all the things Frisk and I might have been able to do differently, if I hadn’t wasted my time and energy fighting them for control. If I hadn’t been fighting everyone around me for…what? Revenge? Blind, indiscriminate retaliation? How could I not have seen how lost I was back then?

I have a lot to make up for. And I’m determined to set it right, if it’s the last thing I do.

I stand up, square my shoulders, take a deep breath. “Okay, Frisk. Let’s do this. Time to make it all mean something.”


	12. You Can Always Come Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> * But maybe, with what power you have, you can save something else.

It’s a strange feeling, resetting the world. There’s no sensation of movement, of transition. Everything just changes, in the blink of an eye.

The SAVE point we made works perfectly. We wind up right where we need to be. I’ll admit, until we arrived, I wasn’t at all sure that we would succeed. We had to restore the timeline first, through sheer determination and willpower alone. Between that feat, creating a SAVE point, and performing the RESET…well, let’s just say that I’m not feeling too hot when I arrive.

I drop to my hands and knees, my vision swimming, spots dancing in front of my eyes. I take a moment to stay there on the ground until my body stops shaking and I catch my breath. Then, slowly, I raise my head and get to my feet.

My physical discomfort is forgotten when I see the house in front of me. It’s a place I never expected to see again, a place that holds some of the only happy memories of my life.

“Frisk,” I whisper, unable to contain my relief. “We’re home.”

I walk up to the front door, feeling at once comfortable and out of place. I know this place, every inch of it, yet I can’t shake the feeling of being an intruder. I suppose I always felt that way, deep down, when I was here. Like I was taking up space that didn’t belong to me. I suppose I’ve felt that way about every place I’ve ever occupied; from my first home, to this one, to Frisk’s body, and then Kris. There’s never been a place that I truly fit in. But this one came closer than most.

The door is unlocked, as I expected. Other kings would have had vast castles crawling with guards; Asgore had this humble little house, and reinforced his door only with trust in his subjects. He knew no one in the Underground would have wished harm upon his family. But he never saw the threat living under his own roof.

I’ve killed my family more than once, in ways both literal and figurative. Time to save them for a change.

The living room is empty, but if I have my timing right, I know where everyone will be. I hear them before I see them, as I pad quietly down the hall toward my old bedroom. Toriel’s muffled sobs, and Asgore’s voice, thick with desperate concern. “Chara…you cannot give up just yet. You are the future of humans and monsters…”

I push open the door, and I see them, crowded around my deathbed. My family…Toriel, wiping tears from her eyes with the edge of her tunic; Asgore, holding my hand and whispering words of encouragement like prayers; Asriel, perched on the foot of the bed, staring at my unconscious body with a look of worry and guilt. He has a child’s faith in me, the sibling that he unwisely looked up to, but he’s smart enough to suspect that he’s made a terrible mistake.

The door creaks as it opens, and they turn their heads to look at me. Under different circumstances, the surprise on their faces would almost be funny. For a moment, I think that they recognize me, and then I remember that I still look like Frisk, a child they aren’t due to meet for years to come.

That makes me both the first and the second human child to come to this place. There will be others, in time, before it’s Frisk’s turn. They all died, unintended casualties of my actions. Maybe this time they can make a life here, like I did.

“Child,” Asgore says, astonished, “how did you get here?”

I don’t answer. I don’t even know how to begin to explain it. Instead, I just look at myself lying in bed and say, “How is Chara?”

Toriel’s wide eyes grow even wider. “You know them?”

“They’re an old friend.” I motion to the bed. “Can I?”

I approach, not waiting for an answer, and the Dreemurrs make space for me, too amazed to protest.

“They’re really sick,” Asriel whispers. I look at him, and see tears in his eyes.

“It’s okay, Asriel,” I say. “I think I can help them.”

 _How we doing?_ I ask Frisk in my head. _Enough determination left?_

_I think so._

_Guess there’s only one way to find out._

We’ve never done a transfer before. Never offered up our own determination to another. But I’ve never felt more determined than I do now, because this time there’s no deeply-buried part of me that doubts that my actions are right. This time it’s just me and Frisk working in unison. So when I put my hand on my old body’s forehead, when I grasp their hand in mine and close my eyes and picture a lifeline between us, the energy flows freely. I can feel it draining out of me and into my former self. Maybe this is where it was always meant to go, what Frisk’s and my determination was always meant for, in the end. I’d like to think so.

I’ve taken a lot of things from a lot of people, and had a lot of things taken from me. So this chance to give freely, to give my past self something that I needed…it feels weighty and right and important. Maybe the most important thing I’ve ever done.

The circle closes. The cycle ends.

Chara opens their eyes.

“Hey,” I say softly. “It’s okay. You’re going to be fine.”

They groan a little and shift in their bed, squinting at me in confusion. “What…what did you do?”

“I saved you,” I say. “You’re not going to die now.”

Toriel and Asgore push past me and smother Chara in hugs, talking over each other in excitement, unable to hold back their relief. Asriel looks relieved, too, even though he has no idea what kind of bullet he just dodged.

I take a step back and just watch them for a moment, waiting for something to change. But nothing happens. I was expecting some kind of symptoms, some physical signal that time was starting to rewrite itself, to reject me as I currently am. So why don’t I feel any different?

And then I see Chara’s face, staring past their family at me with a look of anger, and I know I’m not done yet. I didn’t want to be saved. I wanted to die, and I’m too damn determined for my own good. If this plan doesn’t work, I’ll make another. If Asriel won’t help me next time, I’ll find a way to trick him or force him into it. When I get it into my head to do something, I don’t give up easily. And I’m just a stranger to my past self, just some kid they don’t know. They’ll never listen to me.

Unless…

 _Frisk_ , _hold down the fort for a moment. I’ll be right back._

 _Wait, what?_ Frisk says, a second before they pick up on my intentions. _Can you even do that?_

_We’re about to see._

This will be another first for me. Ever since my resurrection, I’ve never tried to switch bodies. And why should I have? Frisk’s suited me just fine, and I had no desire to be anything but human. But I can’t do this through Frisk. I need to talk to myself directly.

And so I close my eyes and concentrate, and when I open them again, I’m floating below the ceiling. No body, nothing grounding me; just an incorporeal consciousness. It occurs to me that this must be what Kris felt like when I first landed in their body. No wonder they were scared – it’s a supremely weird feeling.

I float down toward Chara, still wrapped in the embraces of their family. They freeze when my SOUL enters them, their muscles tensing up; like Kris, they’ve never experienced this before, and they aren’t prepared for it, which makes them easy to subdue.

_What the hell! What’s happening? Why can’t I move?!_

_Don’t freak out_ , I tell them. _I just need to show you something._

_What? Who are you?!_

_You know who I am. Or don’t you recognize yourself, Chara?_

They fall silent, stunned by the realization, and in that moment, I grab hold of the link between our minds and I give them my memories. I think about everything that’s happened to me, recalling it with as much clarity as I can, starting from the moment I just interrupted; me, on my deathbed, content in the knowledge that death would not be the end; my SOUL, merging with Asriel’s; rampaging through the human village with hatred in my heart; then darkness, nothingness overtaking me, until I come back to awareness and find myself in a new form.

I show myself all the terrible things I’ve done since then, forcing both of us to look at them, unflinching. I show myself what comes of the anger inside me, what horrors it gives rise to when I let it have control. But I also show myself what I’ve learned since then; I share what it feels like, this inescapable regret. I feel everything, all over again, so that they can feel it too. I teach them what I only learned through hindsight, and hope that the lesson sticks.

They sit quietly with me when I’m done, there in our shared mind, singular and separate, and I ask them, _Do you understand?_

_I think so. That was…my future?_

_Doesn’t have to be. Not anymore._ This is important, so I need to make sure they get the message. _Listen to me, Chara. Take it from someone who knows. The world has been awful to you, but it isn’t a bad place. There are good people in it. Hell, you have three of them right here, and they love you. You can be like them. You can be someone who deserves that love. You just have to let go of your anger. Be kind to yourself, and don’t go looking for a fight._

I can feel their emotions, so I know they aren’t lying when they say, _I – I won’t. It was a bad idea._

_Good. Better things are coming, and you need to be here to see them. I’m going to go now, okay? I love you, Chara. One day, you will, too. Don’t forget that._

I slip back out of their body like a quiet exhalation, as gently as I can, and return to Frisk. Through Frisk’s eyes I watch myself shrug out of my parents’ embrace and tell them, “I’m okay now, really. I’m just tired.”

“Okay, we’ll let you rest,” Asgore says. “We will be nearby if you need us.”

I slip out the door, the Dreemurrs following, but before I go, I hear Chara say, “I love you guys.”

“We love you, too,” Toriel says, and my heart swells, as if it were me she was speaking to. Because she did love me once, and now, thanks to me, that love won’t end in heartbreak.

 _You did it,_ Frisk says as we retreat down the hall. _Do you think they – you – will be okay now?_

 _Yeah_ , I say with satisfaction. _You know what, Frisk, I really think they will._

Asgore stops me in the living room, his voice a low rumble. “Child.”

I turn to look at him; my father, regal in bearing once more, now that the crisis has passed. I’m so glad that I won’t hurt him now, this man who took me into his home and gave me everything. I hope this time I can be a child worthy of his name.

“I don’t know who you are or where you came from,” he says, “but you helped my Chara, and for that, you have my gratitude. If there is anything I can do for you in return, merely say the word.”

I open my mouth to speak, but before any words can come, the world spins and I collapse onto the floor, gasping. It’s like the wind has been knocked out of me. Pain shoots through my body, and I struggle to breath.

“Child! What’s wrong?”

Toriel’s voice, heavy with shock. She and Asgore drop to their knees, bending over me in concern.

“Uhhhh,” I pant. I know what’s wrong; time is trying to ERASE me. I don’t belong here anymore, which means I’ve succeeded. I didn’t realize my success would hurt this much.

“Gaster,” I whisper, as I try to catch my breath long enough to speak.

Asgore frowns. “What did you say, child?”

“The royal scientist…please…I need to talk to Dr. Gaster.”

 

********

“FASCINATING.”

I’m lying on the couch while Gaster looms over me, but it’s a different Gaster this time. He looks younger, and more…I don’t know another word for it except _whole_. Not some creature from the void, not some mad scientist; just a man, in a lab coat and a turtleneck sweater. His face is not yet cracked, and he looks at me not with malice, but with the light of unbridled curiosity in his eyes.

And I’m sure I _am_ very fascinating, this mysterious human that appeared out of nowhere and is now dying, but I will have to remain an unsolved mystery. My condition has stabilized a bit in the time it took Gaster to be summoned to the Dreemurrs’ home, but even though the pain has lessened, I know I don’t have much time left. There’s nothing anyone can do to stop what’s coming.

I consider doing to Gaster what I just did to the past Chara, but I’m afraid I’m too weak to take another trip like that, and anyways, I’m not sure if I even _can_ inhabit a monster’s body like I can with other humans. Our SOULs might not be compatible, and I can’t risk doing him any harm.

So instead I just whisper, “Doctor…there’s no time to explain, but I need you to promise me something.”

Gaster looks to his king, puzzled, but Asgore simply nods and says, “I can’t explain it either, Gaster, but this human…they’re special somehow.”

So Gaster leans in close, and I tell him, “I need you to promise me that you won’t mess with time.”

“WITH TIME? I’M AFRAID I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, CHILD.”

“I don’t know what experiments you’re working on right now, or what you might decide to experiment with in the future, but please…just be careful. Don’t try to bite off more than you can chew, and don’t do anything dangerous. It’s not worth the risk. You could get killed, or worse.”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND. WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME SUCH THINGS?”

“Please, it’s important. Just promise me you won’t take any unnecessary risks, okay?”

Gaster looks confused, but he says, “VERY WELL. IF MY SAFETY MATTERS SO MUCH TO YOU, I WILL PROMISE NOT TO JEOPARDIZE IT.”

I lean my head back and close my eyes, and whisper, “Thank you.”

Another wave of pain hits me, and I grit my teeth and try not to squirm.

Toriel crouches down next to me, gently brushing the hair out of my eyes. “My child, is there anything we can do for you?”

I breath out the pain, breath in acceptance. I’ve never been good at letting good. “Just…stay with me? Please?”

“Of course, child. We’re not going anywhere.”

Asriel leans in close to me, concern in his kind eyes. “You’re dying, aren’t you?” he whispers.

“Yeah…but don’t be sad, okay? I’ve done everything I needed to do.”

“Chara was dying too. You helped them.”

“They’ll be okay now, Asriel. I promise. You all will.”

“Thank you,” he says, his voice barely more than a whimper. “I wish I could help you back.”

“I know,” I say, reaching up and brushing a tear from the fur of his cheek. “But you already have.”

I lay my head back on the pillow and close my eyes. I’m so tired. No amount of determination is going to let my SOUL persist this time, but that’s okay. I’m ready.

 _Frisk_ , I think. _Are you there?_

_I’m here, Chara. I’m with you._

_Before we go…I owe you an apology._

_You don’t have to say it. You already made it better._

_I know, but still. I’m sorry, Frisk. I’m sorry for everything I put you through. Can you forgive me?_

I feel the answer before I hear it, like Frisk’s mind is smiling at me. _I already have, dummy_.

I smile back. I never thought I would die with a smile on my face, but to be here, in my home, surrounded by the people I love, knowing that I’ve given them a second chance…

My body feels numb, and my head is growing fuzzy, my thoughts becoming harder to form.

 _Chara?_ Frisk says quietly.

_Yeah, Frisk?_

_Are you scared?_

_No_ , I think, because I’m not, not really. _I’m just…I’m glad I could fix things._

_I’m proud of you, Chara._

And that makes it all feel worth it, as my mind slips into darkness and my body fades away. The kindest person I know is proud of me. And do you know what?

For the first and last time in my short, unnaturally long life…I’m proud of me, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, very much, for reading.


End file.
